Just as Rays management felt the need to do something above and beyond, Mets management should have explored ways to actually get some fannies in the seats for the final game. How about a pregame ceremony featuring some parting gifts for those we hope will soon be departing:
- For Jerry Manuel: A personalized MRI machine in honor of his eagerness to keep players in the lineup regardless of their physical condition. Jon Niese should have been shut down before the exhausted rookie could collapse down the stretch. Carlos Beltran has played just about every game since his return and now he needs to be shut down with inflammation in the knee, just to name the two most recent victims.
- For Omar Minaya: Season tickets for the Newark Bears and the Long Island Ducks of the independent Atlantic League, so Omar can scout for the next Gary Matthews Jr., Mike Jacobs and Frank Catalanotto.
- For Luis Castillo: A deluxe DVD edition of "Inception," since Castillo must be living in a dream world if he thinks he is going to get a starting job anywhere else in MLB.
Finally, a meaningful game in October, as Perez pitches for his Met career. If he pitches a shutout, he can stick around. Maybe his problems really are all in his head, and he can still pitch like the guy who got that huge contract. Imagine the suspense if Ollie shuts down the Nationals into the late innings. Can he pull it off? Will the MLB network air the ninth inning live?
Oh, who are we kidding - Ollie won't make it through the first inning without giving up a run. Maybe the first batter. And then he'll be gone for good.
Now that's the way to say, "Thank you, fans."
That was funny. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jon, for reminding me that there are currently 21 teams -- 1 in New York -- that would love to be no worse off right now than the Yankees.
ReplyDeleteWhat if Oliver Perez DOES get out of the first inning? That would give him a better Met farewell than Tom Glavine!
Come to think of it, right now, I think Ollie is even-money to have a better farewell with the Mets than Jopeless Javier Vazquez will with the Yankees!
Thanks, Matt. Glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteUncle Mike, I wouldn't be surprised if the Mets end up with Vazquez next year. Fortunately, Burnett has too big a contract for them.