Honor Chipper Jones? How about with a gift certificate to Hooters?

Sorry, Mets fans, for jinxing your team. (Well, not really, but I have to be nice!) Squawker Jon is right -- I am the Citi Field jinx!

But when it comes to making dopey moves, your team doesn't need any help. Like the reported notion for the Mets planning to somehow honor Chipper (Larry) Jones in his last season. Why would you give a moment's tribute to somebody who mocked your team by naming his child Shea, and who has kicked your team's fannies ten ways to Tuesday? When I wrote on my Facebook page that the Mets were going to do something to commemorate Chipper's career, even Yankee fans were outraged. More than one said that it would be like the Bombers honoring David Ortiz for his career!

You guys have one retired player number in 50 years, and you're going to do something to honor Chipper? Really? If your team does so, I strongly suggest giving him a gift certificate to Hooters (Google Chipper Jones and Hooters for the details!), coupled with a showing of "The Three Stooges," with everybody chanting "Lar-ry!"

What I remember most about the Mets first post 9/11 game at home was not Mike Piazza's home run, or Liza Minnelli singing "New York, New York." It was how jarring it was to see Mets players hug Chipper Jones! Please, keep the hate. Don't do anything to honor this clown!

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Speaking of the Mets, I want to point out two things about Dillon Gee, the starting pitcher in the game we attended. First of all, he was seen on this pre-game clip on Diamond Vision telling fans not to jump on the field. Then he pauses, and strokes his beard. What's up with that? Is he auditioning for the new season of "Duck Dynasty"?

Then there is the matter of his theme song. The part of the song played when he enters of the game says: "You can run on for a long time, run on for a long time, run on for a long time." It sounded like Johnny Cash, and it was. The song is entitled "God's Gonna Cut You Down," and the lyrics that weren't featured in the intro are pretty intense:

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Yikes!

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As for today's Yankees Opening Day, sadly, I am not going. But it makes me feel like an Old Timer to see that the now-retired Jorge Posada is throwing out the first pitch!


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