The war on autumn: the real problem with Starbucks' red cups

Me on the grounds of the Gideon Putnam Resort in
Saratoga Springs State Park. Notice the autumn
leaves in the photo.

I was in Saratoga Springs, New York this weekend for a Guideposts magazine writers' refresher workshop. Basically, it was like the quarter quell in The Hunger Games (we had all previously won one admission to their biannual workshops before.) But this event was for nice, not nefarious, purposes!

Anyhow, in addition to the great time I had learning and laughing with my fellow workshoppers, I loved seeing the fall foliage. One of the reasons I moved back to the Northeast from Texas is because I like having all four seasons. In Texas, you don't really see the brilliant colors of autumn leaves. Instead, it's hot, and as hot. But in New York, fall is terrific.I love the yellow, red, and most especially the orange colors of fall. So I was in heaven walking around this weekend and seeing fall, even if Saratoga is technically past peak when it comes to the leaves. I love savoring autumn.

From my Halloween visit to the
New York Botanical Gardens. I love fall.

When I was away, though, my Facebook page started to blow up with one of the dopiest controversies ever: the idea that Starbucks hates the baby Jesus because of their new minimalist red coffee cups. When I first saw a headline, though, I thought the story was about how it was too soon to have Christmas-related cups. I was in Starbucks a week ago, and it flummoxed me that I was drinking my Thanksgiving Blend coffee in a Christmas-related drinking vessel. 

I am officially tired of what I'm calling The War on Autumn; I am a firm believer in not having anything Christmas-related until after Thanksgiving is over. Let's stop rushing through the fall season to get to winter. I don't need to see Christmas stuff when we haven't even commemorated Veterans' Day yet. Enough already. Let me play Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" and eat my Thanksgiving turkey in peace, without having Christmas take over the holiday. (And that goes for Black Friday becoming Black Thursday, too!) That's the real issue with these cups, IMHO.

Then I heard what this kerfuffle was about -- that Starbucks "removed Christmas from their cups" (except the cups never said "Merry Christmas" or anything like that in the first place) because they "hate Jesus," according to backwards-baseball-cap-wearing doofus pastor Joshua Feuersten, In addition to wearing his cap backwards in a video, which only Ken Griffey Jr. should be allowed to do, he also falsely claims that they're not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" to customers. (Untrue as well, but at any rate, who the bleep needs to be told "Merry Christmas" when it's early November! Should I get in a tizzy if somebody doesn't wish me "Happy Easter" the day after Groundhog Day?) 

Look at the name! Shocking!

Given the outrage, and the outrage over the outrage about a coffee cup, I expected that there was some organized effort here. No, it's this one knucklehead, who misused the word "literally" (of course he did!) in his video, whining, and bragging about how he brought a gun to Starbucks. It is basically as if something I wrote in my blog became a national story, with millions arguing over it. Good grief.

This goober is a bona fide moron. How does Starbucks hate Jesus if they still carry Christmas Blend coffee, and Advent calendars? And the color of the cup does symbolize Christmas. 

And what is his solution to "prank Starbucks," as he calls it? For Christians to spend money in the store, and say that their name is "Merry Christmas," so that those baristas supposedly despise God will have to write that hated phrase on the cups. This might be the dumbest prank in world history. What he is doing is encouraging people to spend money in Starbucks. How does that hurt them, exactly?  The corporation will cry all the way to the bank! 

At any rate, this is a dumb controversy. and this pastor makes Christians look bad. Let's stick with the really wrong thing with these cups -- I don't want pumpkin spice or Thanksgiving blend coffee in a red coffee cup. End of story. Stop The War on Autumn, Starbucks!