Say it ain't so, Paulie!? Yankee broadcaster Paul O'Neill endorses Donald Trump, loses my respect forever

Donald Trump and Paul O'Neill at Trump's victory speech last night

I was fixing supper after working out tonight, and minding my own business, when Donald Trump came on to blather about his presidential campaign victories tonight. If that weren't painful enough, I nearly lost my lunch (make that dinner!) when I learned that 1) Yankee fan favorite Paul O'Neill was in the audience, and 2) O'Neill was supporting The Donald.

Oh, and when I saw the photo above, I got even more sick to my stomach! (Incidentally, O'Neill looks as uncomfortable as Chris Christie. Paulie, if you need help, blink three times in a row!)

What the heck is O'Neill thinking? Why is he getting involved with supporting a demagogue like Trump? Especially given that O'Neill is a broadcaster for the YES Network, and is in the public eye.

Why would he endorse David Duke's favorite presidential candidate? How disappointing. And I have to wonder -- which campaign promises of Trump most appeal to the former right fielder? What part of Trump's rhetoric is most exciting to O'Neill?

Is it Trump calling Mexicans who emigrate to America "rapists? Him wanting to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico? Trump's desire to deport 11 million undocumented immigrants on the first day of his administration? Him wanting to ban Muslims from coming into the country?

Or perhaps it's the way Trump thinks of the U.S. military as his own palace guard, ready to commit war crimes on his say-so. Or maybe O'Neill likes the way Trump talks about women in such disrespectful or derogatory terms. Or it could be that Paulie secretly wants to go to Trump University.

Whatever it is, I'm never going to think of O'Neill the same way again. And he was one of my favorite Yankees ever. He was also one of my late father's favorite Yankees. I just talked about how much I liked the way O'Neill handled his farewell tour. But he is supporting a very bad man for president.

As Jon puts it, he's known me for over 15 years, and Jon's never seen me take a public political stand like this. But I feel that strongly about Trump being a menace that I had to say something.

Look, I'm not going to tell you that you should vote for Ted Cruz or Hillary Clinton or whatever. I just want to stop Trump. And I have respect for whomever anybody chooses to vote for in the presidential race. Except for Donald Trump. He deserves no respect whatsoever, and I really have a hard time holding onto respect for those who support him, given his horrendous views on the world.

What's the upside for O'Neill here? Many fans besides me are upset over this. Say it ain't so, Paulie!

Utleygate

So Chase Utley's dirty slide inspires a major rule change, but MLB can't bring itself to uphold Utley's measly two-game suspension. As the Daily News's Anthony McCarron writes, "you can pretty much circle May 9 as the date when Utley will get the real penalty for the dirty slide that broke Ruben Tejada’s leg last October." That's the day the Mets and Dodgers meet for the first time this season. As Squawker Lisa would say, get your popcorn ready!

At least I hope it's May 9, or whenever Utley first steps up to the plate against the Mets. Not a rerun of the season and a half it took to get any sort of retaliation against Roger Clemens after his 2000 roid rage. And all most people remember about that is Shawn Estes throwing behind Clemens, and not Estes and Mike Piazza homering off of Clemens in that June 15, 2002 game.

For what it's worth, the Mets' failure to respond against Clemens in a timely and appropriate fashion coincided with the team sinking from the 2000 pennant into years of losing. But with pitchers like Matt Harvey and Noah Syndergaard, the 2016 Mets figure to write a different story.

Let me emphasize that I am not rooting for Utley to get hurt or for the Mets to throw at his head. I just want the Met pitchers to let Utley know that they were not happy about what happened and, new rules or not, here's what happens if you try it again.

Coincidentally, May 9 is also the day Aroldis Chapman is eligible to be reinstated from his suspension. Looks like a potentially big baseball day around here!

Meanwhile, Jennry Mejia, banned for life, claims he's the victim of an MLB witch hunt. Mejia admits he failed his first drug test, but disputes the next two failed tests, claiming that MLB faked the third failed test after he appealed the second one. The Times notes that two of the tests found evidence of boldenone, a steroid used in horse racing. Lisa, I think I know what you would have to say about whether Mejia's allegations have any validity - neigh!

As Lisa noted, Subway Squawkers recently celebrated our tenth anniversary. During that time, we have generally steered clear of politics, but it's a strange and troubling political time, so I'm glad Lisa went off topic Saturday with  #NeverTrump: Donald Trump for president? That joke isn't funny anymore.

#NeverTrump: Donald Trump for president? That joke isn't funny anymore

I really don't like talking politics on the internet, and even less so in this blog. Jon and I have tried to keep this blog as an escape from the "real world." I get into enough arguments about Yankees-Mets or Yankees-Red Sox; I don't need to fight political arguments, too!

Until now, that is. I really feel compelled to say something about Donald Trump. I want to add my voice to those who are trying to stop this demagogue and bully from getting the Republican presidential nomination, or, (heaven forbid) becoming president. 

So I feel like not saying something in the bully pulpit of this blog when I feel so strongly on this would be cowardice, And I never want to be a coward. To quote both Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata and soul singer James Brown, I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. 

That's because I went through multiple bullying horrors in my childhood, which have made me have a pretty visceral reaction as an adult to bullies. Nowadays, I stand up for myself pretty well (some might say too well!) because I never want to experience that feeling of powerlessness as I did back then, when I wasn't able to fight for myself. 

Nor do I ever want to be the type of person who sees something awful happening to other people, and just pretends to ignore it.  That's not how I live my life. In fact, I actually get angrier when I see others, especially loved ones, being bullied than I would if it were myself. Because at least I know I can do something about it and not put up with it. Other people can't always do that, for various reasons..

Anyhow, all this is to say is that the more this Trump candidacy goes on, the angrier I get. For our country's sake. And like any bully, he's been getting away with this because almost nobody has taken a stand until now. The media has been in the tank for him because he's good for ratings. The Republican Party has been afriad of alienating his voters. And a lot of us were hoping that this was a bad dream, and he would go away before long. So much for that.

Several things really sent me over the edge this past week and compelled me to speak out. The first was Trump stumbling over disawoving David Duke -- and the criticism Mitt Romney got from professionals who should know better for calling him on it! Romney got compared to Mother Jones (Laura Ingraham) and President Obama (Tucker Carlson) for doing so. Is that how far we've fallen as a nation in 2016, that we're actually arguing on whether or not to denounce the KKK? Not to mention how nasty and insulting Trump is with anybody else who annoys him, but he had such a hard time attacking Duke and the Klan. Very telling.

The second was Trump's campaign giving a white supremacist radio host full media credentials (at the same time they were refusing credentials to the Des Moines Register, Buzzfeed, and Fusion.net because they didn't write 100% positively about him) and even having his son Donald Jr.appear on the cretin's radio show, at the same time African-American students were being ejected from his speech at Valdosta College in Georgia without actually doing anything worth being thrown out for.

The third is the way Trump uses and would, if he were president, abuse the military. Over and over, he has talked about using the U.S. military as his personal goon squad, suggesting that they do torture worse than waterboarding, and that they kill suspected terrorists' families. These things happen to be war crimes. And when it was pointed out to Trump at the last debate that these things are illegal, he scoffed at the very notion, saying about the service members: "They won't refuse. They're not going to refuse. Believe me," and claimed that this was what "leadership" was all about. No, that's what being a dictator is all about. He finally backed down on this, but who knows what he would do in office?

The fourth was the revelation that the anti-immgration Trump, who talks tough about American jobs, brings in captive (and white) staff from countries like Romania to staff  his resort Mar-a-Lago, instead of hiring American workers. As Ted Cruz very effectively pointed out at the latest debate by asking ex-waiters and waitresses in the audience to raise their hands, American workers would not turn down such a job, as Trump claims.

And finally, the idea of Trump getting anywhere near the Oval Office terrifies me. His thin-skinned attitude, which was amusing in "Celebrity Apprentice" (he refused to pick the deserving Penn Gillette to win because Penn said something about Trump in a book that he didn't like) would be horrifying if he were in the Oval Office. He's already threatened to throw out libel laws so that he can sue writers who say mean things about him. He thinks judges sign bills and thinks he can have 11 million deported on his say-so. As my friend Joe says, Trump doesn't even show a sixth-grader's knowledge of civics class. God help us all if he gets his finger near the button. Will he start World War III if some world leader mocks his combover?

The worst thing about Trump is that instead of being a candidate who brings this country together, he has cynically fomented the divisions in this country, and made them worse. I have friends throughout the political spectrum, but I really have to wonder about the Trump acolytes. Are they naive or wicked? Do they not know any better, or do they know all too well what he wants to do? Do they agree with his racism? His sexism? His xenophobia? His dictatorial beliefs?

I do expect that there is at least one "Face in the Crowd" style audio or video of Trump trashing his followers. According to a former Romney aide, that may be the case:

I recorded a lot @realDonaldTrump better hope I didn't record him telling us to use birther argument bc "rightwing crazies will believe it"

— Garrett Jackson (@dgjackson) March 4, 2016

So I'm hoping some patriot releases such a recording. In the meantime, I hope that all good people, no matter what their political persuasion, speak out against Trump. It's not too late, by any means, to deny him the Republican nomination for president.

And I have to wonder about the cowardice of those who act like this is all inevitable, and don't seem to want to do anything to stop this runaway train of Trump, other than to give in. This, even though Trump is currently fewer than 100 delegates ahead of Ted Cruz, and Trump only has a quarter of the delegates needed to get the nomination. I have to wonder about such people who are telling the #NeverTrump crowd to just give up. Is that what they tell kids when they're bothered by bullies -- just give up your lunch money and hope the bully doesn't bother you again? Surrender without a fight? That's a terrible way to live.

One of the saddest things I've seen this past week is how Chris Christie, a smart, talented, take-no-prisoners type of politician, has been completely emasculated by Trump. He now calls him "Mr. Trump," while being called "Chris" in return. And who could forget how forlorn Christie looked standing beside Trump at Super Tuesday?

If we don't do something soon to stop Trump in his tracks, we're going to be the ones looking forlorn while Trump pushes us around.

I was heartened over the past week to see some pushback -- both in the presidential debates and among voters -- against Trump. (And how he can't seem to handle the attacks at all!) Let's hope it sticks, and that we don't have to face the horror of a Donald Trump presidency.

Bummer -- Hal Steinbrenner sez his family is not selling the Yankees

Hal (Rip Van Winkle) Steinbrenner has finally woken up from his winter snooze to talk to the press. Specifically, ESPN New York's Wally Matthews. And specifically, to say that he and his siblings are not selling the team, and will keep the team for the next generation of Steinbrenners. Oh goody -- another generation of people who were born on third base and think that they hit a triple running the team! I can't wait! (That's sarcasm, kidddies!)

Matthews talked to Prince Hal for an hour, and said at the end of his piece that he "can't help but like" Hal "and feel for" him. Feel for what, exactly? Because Steinbrenner had a tough father? Many people out there had tough fathers, but didn't inherit multi-billion dollar baseball teams, either. Boo bleeding hoo. This sounds like how the media gave Brian Cashman a pass for so many years because George yelled at him. Good grief.

There is no talk about the Yankees' ticket debacle (shocker!), but Matthews asked Steinbrenner about other things. Here are some of the most interesting tidbits from the story, and the questions I would like to ask Hal if I could:

"I'm not trying to be George," he says. "I never walked into this with the concept of trying to act like George, trying to be everything that George was, 'cause I can't."

No $#%^. Sherlock. Hey, Hal, we don't need you to be George. But we don't need you to be the exact opposite of George, either, where you won't do anything like hold people accountable for fear that somebody will think that you look like your father. Get over your childhood already. We'd all be a lot better off.

"George accomplished all this through his hard work. But for me, this is a privilege. It's a privilege in that I don't feel that I deserve to be the managing general partner of the New York Yankees."

That makes two of us, Hal!

And if my last name wasn't Steinbrenner, I wouldn't be managing general partner of the New York Yankees."

 Well, you do have at least *some* self-awareness!

He is strident, if not exactly passionate, about his role as managing general partner of the Yankees -- that is the description he uses, never "owner," and certainly never Boss -- but nowhere near as wound up as he gets when he talks about flying his airplanes, a GTO single-engine aircraft and a Cessna high-wing that he says he can land anywhere. It is a hobby he only took up in 2000. "That's what I do to get away from this," he said, pointing at his iPhone. "Go up to 2,000 feet and practice takeoffs and landings."...."It scared the hell out of my dad. He was always worried about it. But you know, there's nothing safe about driving on the interstate, either. You minimize the risk, you make sure your plane is in good shape, and you don't make poor choices, and it's a fairly safe thing to do." 

1. Can you go be general partner of a plane company, instead of a baseball team, the job you so desperately wants to "get away from"? We'd all be better off!

2. Paging Dr. Freud, but considering your father lost Thurman Munson when the Yankee captain died doing takeoffs and landing on his private plane, and considering your father then had clauses in Yankee players' contracts banning them from flying planes, you have to wonder how much your hobby has to do with sticking it to your dad.

He said he's never going to react to a loss, or a losing season, by firing someone. He understands his natural reserve tends to make fans believe he doesn't really care about the Yankees, at least not as much as his father did. "Even if I wanted to, I couldn't do that," he said. "I'm not going to try to be something that I'm not. I don't pretend to be as good as him in this role, and I wouldn't even try."

Hey Hal: You know, firing people when they fail at their jobs, year after year, is not only a George thing. It's kind of how the rest of baseball -- and the rest of the world -- works. But you're too busy playing Peter Pan to actually hold people accountable.

On who is ultimately to blame for the Yankees' recent failures: "Nothing is going to happen or not happen without me. So you can say it's [GM Brian] Cashman but I can tell you that Cash and I talk, and Hank and I talk, but again, the decision still falls on me. So if anyone wants to blame anybody they should throw me in there with Cashman, for goodness sakes."

Well, that's great, Hal. You won't fire Cashman. And we can't fire you. But we should keep on sucking it up and buying tickets, just because.

 On whether the Yankees will pay A-Rod the $6 million bonus for tying Babe Ruth's 714 home runs: "We'll see. We'll see. I think we have a much better relationship at this point in time to try to work something out. We'll figure something out. I wouldn't worry too much about that. I think it's going to be a different story this time around." 

Hal, given that 90% of your team's current marketing campaign that features today's players is about A-Rod, it would be kind of hard to avoid giving him this money. But I doubt you even know that, since you show about as much interest in the Yankees as I do in watching "Doctor Who." Oy.

Listen to me on the Sully Baseball podcast

I was on the Sully Baseball podcast twice in the last few days. Click here to hear me yak with my friend Paul Francis Sullivan about MLB retirement tours. Click here to hear me talk about the Yankees' ticket debacle.

Happy anniversary to Subway Squawkers! We've been yakking for 10 years! Read our very first blog entry ever!

I love "The Flinstones," while Jon thinks
they are a cheap "Honeymooners" ripoff.

And they said it wouldn't last. Today marks the 10th anniversary of Subway Squawkers. That means we -- and especially me! -- have been annoying people for 10 long years. (Actually, I've been annoying people for my whole life, but it's been 10 years with this blog!)

Back then, Alex Rodriguez was coming off an MVP season, but was still not considered to be a so-called "true Yankee." This year, A-Rod is coming off a very good season, and is now the de facto team leader and most popular player.

Many other things have changed in the Yankee Universe and in Metsland since then. The only Yankee from back then who is still on the team is A-Rod. The only Met from 2006 who is still on their team is David Wright. And Carlos Beltran, of course, was on the Mets back then, and the Yankees now.

Our format has changed since 2006. We started on the New York Daily News' website as one very long article on the web site each month. Then we went over to the blog format. We have been on Blogger now since November 2008.

And, of course, both of us have undergone personal changes since 2006 -- me more dramatically. In 2006, I was a couch potato who was starting to pack on the pounds after quitting smoking. In 2016, I have lost almost 70 pounds since my heaviest, and run regularly for exercise, albeit being a very slow runner.

But some things have stayed the same. I still bring the sass, and Jon still tries to put me in my place (although he rarely succeeds!)

Here is our origin story, for those of you who may not know: Jon and I worked at the New York Daily News together in the web department. (Jon actually hired me in 2000!) We talked a lot of trash back and forth about our respective teams. Back then, I used to spend a lot of time posting fan on various team message boards. (This was in the days before social media.) And Jon thought I should be doing something more with my writing talents than yakking on NYYfans.com and other sites.

Plus, in 2006, both the Yankees and Mets looked like they were going to be good teams at the same time since 2000. So Jon suggested to me that we do some sort of column on the website together. He also came up with the Subway Squawkers name, a moniker that has been misspelled ever since!

He sold our boss Kevin Hayes on the idea, and the rest is history.

Having this platform has been good for both of us. Especially me. I love having this outlet. I know it's made me a better writer. And it's been a lot of fun, too. We've met some great people because of this blog, which is awesome.

Anyhow, since this is our 10th anniversary, we are going to highlight great posts from our archives throughout the year. Here, below The Flintstones, is our very first Squawk!

March 1, 2006

Jon -- Met fan

When The Daily News Online Edition launched in 1996, New York was far from the Yankee town it unfortunately is today. The Bombers had not won a World Series in eighteen long years. Their new manager was derided by this very paper as “Clueless Joe.” The Mets’ phenom rookie shortstop was mentioned in the same breath as the Yankees’ phenom rookie shortstop. But the Yankees went on to win four championships in five years, while our phenom turned out to be Rey Ordonez.

Once the Yankees beat the Mets in the World Series, much of the media forgot that New York has usually been a two-team town (and before that, a three-team town).  Now, thanks to Omar Minaya and Fred Wilpon’s checkbook, the Mets are back on the map.

But it’s hard for me to get too excited – I’ve been burned too many times before. What if Pedro’s toe doesn’t heal? What if Beltran never adjusts to New York?  What if the Carnegie Deli names a sandwich after Carlos Delgado? (Remember how well the last high-priced Met first baseman with his own sandwich worked out.)

Unlike the Yankees, who can absorb high-priced disappointments (Kevin Brown, Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright and so on), a single costly Met failure could sink the whole team. If Kaz Matsui were on the Yankees, he’d be long gone by now. Instead, he’s penciled in as the starting second baseman (at least I hope it’s in pencil).

I’m tired of the Yankees monopolizing the front page. Sure, the Mets made the cover now and again last year, but now Anna’s in Baltimore.  (Hey, George, since you like signing ex-Mets so much – Seaver, Gooden, Strawberry, Cone, Leiter, to name a few – how about bringing Mrs. Benson in? You can put her on YES and give her the planted questions to ask Torre.)

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the 1986 World Championship team. I’ve already got my ’86 pack – tickets to six games with promotions commemorating the boys of 20 summers ago. On Friday, June 16, if I’m one of the first 25,000 fans, I’ll get a commemorative coin courtesy of Dunkin’ Donuts.  Something tells me I’d rather get a donut, but I am looking forward to the ’86 reunion on August 19. Hope there’s no need for video feeds from various prisons.

Lisa – Yankee fan

Before we get into discussing the state of the Yankees today, let's have a moment of silence to mourn the retirement of Kevin Brown. Remember how the Yankees gave Roger Clemens a burnt-orange Hummer when he "retired"? I hear the Yanks came up with a perfect parting gift for Mr. Friendly – a framed piece of the wall he fought.

Fortunately, there are still plenty of characters left in Yankeeland this spring.   Here are a few of them:

George Steinbrenner – Is he on the "I'm Not a Senile Old Coot" world tour or something? After years of a Garboesque silence (that is, if Greta had had a press agent to whip up missives for her), The Boss is back in rare form. What's next, a tearful appearance on Oprah?

Alex Rodriguez – I just don't understand the incessant A-Rod bashing. Yeah, he wants to be liked by everyone. And that is a bad thing, why, exactly? You know what happens when an athlete really doesn't care what anybody thinks of him?   Bode Miller.

Carl Pavano – The Yankees should have known that he wasn't worth pursuing  when they took him out for a night on the town, and he chose "Mamma Mia" as the evening's entertainment. Then there's his health, or lack thereof -- is there any illness this guy hasn't contracted?   What's next?  Rickets? Scurvy?

Randy Johnson – I think he's going to have a great year.   Why?  Because he's got the glare back – you know, the look that Italian ice dancer gave her partner after he dropped her.

Jorge Posada – You think he might be a little scared of Randy, particularly after the Big Unit threw inside to his buddy Derek Jeter?

Derek Jeter – Could he not speak in a monotone all the time?   He makes Shaquille O'Neal sound like he has vocal range.

Chien-Ming Wang – Randy Johnson constantly chats him up in the dugout.   What's that all about?

Mike Mussina – Did you see his quote in our paper about how the Yankees really do"have plenty of fun"?  Then he asked, "Look, what's more important: Lighting someone's shoes on fire or winning the division?" But where do crossword puzzles rank?

Johnny Damon –Why is it that every player who comes over to the Yankees, even if they're a straight-shooter like Johnny Damon, says the same mantra about pinstripes, greatness, tradition, the Yankee way, blah blah blah.   Is the Boss implanting them with a "pinstripe pride" microchip or something?

Speaking of characters, I think Mr. Met has had some work done.  Look at this 1963 image --http://www.kcmets.com/ScorecardImages/63Scorecard.jpg.  Plastic surgery – it's not just for Hollywood anymore!

One other thing -- I was going to trash-talk you about how the Yankees don't need to have a mascot, because they have pinstripes, greatness, tradition, and the Yankee way.   But then I remembered that they actually did have one, named Dandy, in the early 80s. Looks like I'm not the only one who wanted to forget about Dandy – I couldn't find a single online image of him.

Raccoon takes over Yankees' spring training

Wonder if he bought his tickets on StubHub! Did you see that a raccoon invaded Steinbrenner Field the other day? He got rousted, fell 40 feet, is still alive, and on the loose! It reminded me of Lonn Trost's infamous comments on Yankee tickets:

"The problem below market at a certain point is that if you buy a ticket in a very premium location and pay a substantial amount of money. It’s not that we don’t want that fan to sell it, but that fan is sitting there having paid a substantial amount of money for their ticket and [another] fan picks it up for a buck-and-a-half and sits there, and it frustrates the purchaser of the full amount." Trost said.

"And quite frankly,” he said, “the fan may be someone who has never sat in a premium location. So that’s a frustration to our existing fan base."

Check out these pictures of Rocky Raccoon going wild. Now, the obvious joke is that the raccoon is someone who has never sat in a premium location. But I'm going to zig instead of zagging, and make the joke that the raccoon is simply trying to protect his season ticket investment from the riff-raff. Ha!

A Subway Squawker at the Boston Marathon? It could happen!

Here I am with members of my running club.

Happy birthday to me! I did my long run this morning with my running club (thanks to my coach for the carrot cake birthday cake slice, candles, card, and protein shake!) I had a little bit of an adventure this morning. My brakes went kaput on my car. So I ran a mile, then caught a bus, and then another bus. And while I was waiting for the third bus, two members of my running club saw me waiting and picked me up. Whew. My fellow runners sang "Happy Birthday" to me as well. Very nice!

After running a total of nine miles, I headed to Manhattan to Pampano, a modern Mexican restaurant, where Squawker Jon and I celebrated my birthday at brunch. (We did a lunch instead of dinner because we both wanted to be home in the evening to watch the Oscars! Especially since we have money at stake!)

Squawker Jon and I acting silly.

Anyhow, Jon and I were laughing, as we usually do when we get together, over this idea: He suggested that I pull a David Ortiz and say that I'm going to run the Boston Marathon, as long as Bosston sports fans give me a standing ovation. I put this joke on my Facebook page, and my Yankee fan friend Jason asked me if I could actually run the marathon. I explained that I'm too slow to qualify, but I could get in on one of those charity admissions. You have to agree to raise at least $5000 for charity. So Jason suggested that we could try to get Yankee fans to try to chip in, if I wore Yankee gear to stick it to Boston fans.

I love, love, love this idea! Of course, I first have to finish the New York City Marathon in one piece, first. I wouldn't want to commit to Boston unless I knew I could finish New York. But it would be so epic to do it. Sticking it to Boston never gets old!

But would readers chip in to fund this? What do you think?

Who would win a Best Athlete Oscar?

I love the thrill of competing against other people -- and winning. But since I am bound to be at the back of the pack forever when it comes to athleticism, I have to do my competition in things like trivia, fantasy football, and Oscar pools. (Click here to read about the pool I set up for my running club.)

Anyhow, speaking of movies, since its Oscar weekend (as well as my birthday weekend!) the New York Daily News did a pretty good look at athletes' stellar acting performances in films.(Click here to read it.) Like Brett Favre in "There's Something About Mary," Dan Marino in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Airplane."

But I thought of at least one other good performance that could be added. How about Roger Clemens as a character named Skidmark in "Kingpin"? Fun fact: this is one of my all-time favorite comedies, but I didn't understand that it was a spoof of "The Hustler" until seeing the latter last year! I know Clemens was also in "Anger Management," but his role in "Kingpin" is much better! He is so convincing, I didn't realize it was him the first few times I saw the movie. (Warning: Language not safe for work.)




What else should be added to this list? Please leave your suggestions below!

What is more self-aggrandizing in baseball? Bat flips or retirement tours?

One of the cool things about having a lot of baseball fan Facebook friends is being able to test out ideas quickly. Like my theory of baseball celebrations. I had a hunch that if you did a Venn diagram of MLB fans who disliked Jose Bautista's bat flip and the like, and who say things like "Act like you've been there before," there would be very little overlap.

Generally speaking, the types of people who dislike individual in-game celebrations such as flamboyant home run trots and closers going nuts at the end of the game say things like "Act like you've been there before." (But many of those players haven't been there before, like Joey Bats finally making the playoffs after a long career. Thus, their happiness.) and "Play the game the right way." (Although left unsaid is who gets to define what the "right way" is.) 

                   

These comments mean: Don't show any emotion. Don't draw attention to yourself. Be as sober as a church mouse. (In case you haven't figured it out already, I am NOT in this category!  I like players being human and showing human emotions! Unless it involves celebrations against the Yankees, and then I'm totally opposed. Heh!)

Anyhow, my theory (really, a hunch at first) was that these traditionalists would be the kinds of people who would be fans of players who have had long enough careers to do retirement ceremonies. It seemed to me that somebody who would be excited over, say, Derek Jeter's retirement tour, would be the type of person who liked Jeter because he Played the Game the Right Way. On the other hand, those of us, like myself, who like the spontaneous show of emotions in the game may not like the way that these retirement tours have been so formalized and commodified. 

As I wrote in this space (and got tons of grief for) in 2014, I was sick of Jeter's retirement tour by the All-Star Break, And my disdain for it only grew as it got even more over the top over the year.

We recently had a funny discussion on Facebook about it, over the fact that Mark, the president of my running club, who also works as a background actor, was in one of the Jeter commercials. When Josh, another background actor and our club's publicity director, told me that, I asked if El Presidente was in the Gatorade "My Way" ad. Josh said that wasn't the ad, and described it this way: "There was another commercial that showed [Jeter] even more reverent if you could believe that." As soon as I heard that description, I immediately knew he was talking about the Nike "Re2pect" commerical. So if you thought those were real fans in the stands, I've got news for you: they were actors, and at least one of them -- our friend Mark -- is a Mets fan! Heh.

Anyhow, that is basically what I found on Facebook -- that people who like the one thing generally don't like the other, and vice versa. And, at any rate, very few Yankee fans want to cheer for David Ortiz in his last game at Yankee Stadium. I predict that Ortiz will face a bigger public backlash on his tour, especially if either he or the Sox are doing poorly.

The thing of it is, these retirement tours not only about worshiping a particular player, but they also can hurt team goals in a way that a bat flip never did. If Joe Girardi had been able to move Jeter down the lineup, would they have made the playoffs? Maybe so. But instead, the team was all about a season2watch, not a team2watch.

The two retirements I admire the most are Paul O'Neill's and Mike Mussina's. Savvy Yankee fans serenaded O'Neill in Game 5 of the 2001 World Series (even Red Sox fan Sully from Sully Baseball was impressed by that.) And Mussina, of course, decided it would be his last year, left it all on the field, won 20 games, and then announced his retirement.

What's the showbiz adage? Always leave them wanting more? These retirement tours do the opposite. They make you sick of the player. And they've become pretty joyless affairs over time. The last truly "wow" gift was Rob Gardenhire saving Twins' bats broken from hitting off Mariano Rivera, and having them made into a rocking chair. After that, the gifts have become boring, as have the ceremonies in each city. And I'm sure I will rolling my eyes all year at Ortiz's farewell. Oy.

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