What is more self-aggrandizing in baseball? Bat flips or retirement tours?

One of the cool things about having a lot of baseball fan Facebook friends is being able to test out ideas quickly. Like my theory of baseball celebrations. I had a hunch that if you did a Venn diagram of MLB fans who disliked Jose Bautista's bat flip and the like, and who say things like "Act like you've been there before," there would be very little overlap.

Generally speaking, the types of people who dislike individual in-game celebrations such as flamboyant home run trots and closers going nuts at the end of the game say things like "Act like you've been there before." (But many of those players haven't been there before, like Joey Bats finally making the playoffs after a long career. Thus, their happiness.) and "Play the game the right way." (Although left unsaid is who gets to define what the "right way" is.) 

                   

These comments mean: Don't show any emotion. Don't draw attention to yourself. Be as sober as a church mouse. (In case you haven't figured it out already, I am NOT in this category!  I like players being human and showing human emotions! Unless it involves celebrations against the Yankees, and then I'm totally opposed. Heh!)

Anyhow, my theory (really, a hunch at first) was that these traditionalists would be the kinds of people who would be fans of players who have had long enough careers to do retirement ceremonies. It seemed to me that somebody who would be excited over, say, Derek Jeter's retirement tour, would be the type of person who liked Jeter because he Played the Game the Right Way. On the other hand, those of us, like myself, who like the spontaneous show of emotions in the game may not like the way that these retirement tours have been so formalized and commodified. 

As I wrote in this space (and got tons of grief for) in 2014, I was sick of Jeter's retirement tour by the All-Star Break, And my disdain for it only grew as it got even more over the top over the year.

We recently had a funny discussion on Facebook about it, over the fact that Mark, the president of my running club, who also works as a background actor, was in one of the Jeter commercials. When Josh, another background actor and our club's publicity director, told me that, I asked if El Presidente was in the Gatorade "My Way" ad. Josh said that wasn't the ad, and described it this way: "There was another commercial that showed [Jeter] even more reverent if you could believe that." As soon as I heard that description, I immediately knew he was talking about the Nike "Re2pect" commerical. So if you thought those were real fans in the stands, I've got news for you: they were actors, and at least one of them -- our friend Mark -- is a Mets fan! Heh.

Anyhow, that is basically what I found on Facebook -- that people who like the one thing generally don't like the other, and vice versa. And, at any rate, very few Yankee fans want to cheer for David Ortiz in his last game at Yankee Stadium. I predict that Ortiz will face a bigger public backlash on his tour, especially if either he or the Sox are doing poorly.

The thing of it is, these retirement tours not only about worshiping a particular player, but they also can hurt team goals in a way that a bat flip never did. If Joe Girardi had been able to move Jeter down the lineup, would they have made the playoffs? Maybe so. But instead, the team was all about a season2watch, not a team2watch.

The two retirements I admire the most are Paul O'Neill's and Mike Mussina's. Savvy Yankee fans serenaded O'Neill in Game 5 of the 2001 World Series (even Red Sox fan Sully from Sully Baseball was impressed by that.) And Mussina, of course, decided it would be his last year, left it all on the field, won 20 games, and then announced his retirement.

What's the showbiz adage? Always leave them wanting more? These retirement tours do the opposite. They make you sick of the player. And they've become pretty joyless affairs over time. The last truly "wow" gift was Rob Gardenhire saving Twins' bats broken from hitting off Mariano Rivera, and having them made into a rocking chair. After that, the gifts have become boring, as have the ceremonies in each city. And I'm sure I will rolling my eyes all year at Ortiz's farewell. Oy.

Where do you stand on this issue? Tell us about it!

Should Yankee fans cheer David Ortiz in his last Yankee Stadium game?

I was on my my home when I saw about the retiring David Ortiz's "plea" in the New York Post to Yankee fans. And I couldn't wait to get home and Squawk about it, because obviously, I have something to say!

Post columnist Kevin Kernan talked to Ortiz today about what he wanted in his final game of his career at Yankee Stadium:

When Ortiz, 40, makes his final Yankee Stadium appearance on Sept. 29, this is what he wants, and it speaks volumes about Ortiz the player, the competitor, the enemy, the star. 
 “You know what I want most of all?’’ Big Papi told The Post on Tuesday at JetBlue Park. “I would love it if the fans at Yankee Stadium gave me a standing ovation.’’

Kernan writes that Yankee fans can "show class" by doing this:

Cheer for Big Papi. Chant his nickname. Send him out with class.

You know, I mostly like Kernan's writing, but this is a bit much for me.

Look, I gave Ortiz a standing ovation in my living room when, after the Boston Marathon bombing, he took the mike at Fenway and said, "This is our f*cking city." That was a great moment, and it's the one time in my life I wanted to cheer for Ortiz.  That's enough for me, thanks. Unless he's got Lou Gehrig's Disease or something, I am on record in thinking these endless farewell tours are too much. And I'm not cheering for him. I also think it's a little weird for him to ask for this.

Now, I'm not going to tell other Yankee fans that they shouldn't cheer for Ortiz. But I say not just "No," but "Hello, no." to the idea of me cheering and giving him a standing ovation and chanting "Big Papi." Good grief.

And I don't think not doing so for him makes me unclassy. (Class is overrated, anyway!)

 I also don't think  that sportswriters should tell fans what to do here. This is a personal decision every fan has the right to make. And I'm sitting on my hands, thanks!

What do you think? Will you cheer for David Ortiz?

David Ortiz is a big ol' hypocrite. And here's why.

David Ortiz, back when he was slim
and trim and didn't hit homers.

David Ortiz is at it again. For somebody who has this jolly, beloved reputation, he really is a crybaby. Waaaaah!

The latest thing Ortiz did was passive-aggressively throw Alex Rodriguez under the bus. (Note: I also can't stand passive aggression; it drives me nuts when women do it, and even more when men do it! Especially when Ortiz does it! Be a man, not a sorority girl, dude!)

Ortiz told the New York Post the following about his former friend (emphasis added):

“It is what it is,” Ortiz said before the Yankees blew out the Red Sox, 13-3, Tuesday night at the Stadium. “The guy is playing the right way now — as far as we know. He’s having a good season and doing the right thing. I guess that deserves credit.”

Meow! Need a saucer of milk with that, Big Papi?

Then Ortiz deposited this in the litter box that is the Post:

 “He’s having a good season,” Ortiz said. “Me, personally, I thought having a year off and getting older was something that would affect you, but he looks good to me.”

Hmmmm. I seem to remember Ortiz whining in The Players' Tribune, A-Rod frenemy Derek Jeter's site, about people making assumptions about him using PEDs due to such clues. Specifically, without naming him, he slammed Bostom Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy for asking questions:

In 2013, I came off the DL and started hot. My first 20 games I was hitting like .400. And the reporter with the red jheri curl from The Boston Globe comes into the locker room says, “You’re from the Dominican. You’re older. You fit the profile of a steroid user. Don’t you think you’re a prime suspect?”

He’s saying this with a straight face. I had taken like 70 at-bats. Anybody can get hot and hit .400 with 70 at-bats. I was stunned. I’m like, I’m Dominican? I fit the profile? Are you kidding me?

Of course, as I noted back in March, Ortiz exaggerated what Shaughnessy actually said and wrote, which was this:

But you fit all the models. You are from the Dominican Republic. You are an older player. Older players don’t get better. You’ve had injuries consistent with steroid use. You showed up on the list from 2003. You fit all the formulas.

“[Expletive], I’m a human being just like everyone else,” said Ortiz. “You can get worse or you can get better. One or the other.’’

Anyhow, I find it fascinating that Ortiz was so prickly about people suggesting the he fit a PED user profile, and then he does the same thing to Rodriguez. That's why I call him a big ol' hypocrite. 

Shocker! David Ortiz blames a New York conspiracy for the leak of his 2003 PED test results

My fact-checking of  David Ortiz's puff piece for the Players' Tribune has led to me finding out some other things on David Ortiz that the media hasn't really picked up on. It turns out that he blames New York for revealing his 2003 PED test failure. Let me explain how I discovered this, but it will have to involve some shameless self-promotion first.

Anyhow, my article got some big traction yesterday in the Twittersphere. My piece was retweeted and favorited by writers from the New York Times (including the writer who broke the story about Ortiz being on the PED list), New York Daily News, Boston.com and the Sporting News. Then John O'Connell, Bill Simmons' Yankee fan buddy Jacko, linked to my article this morning and blew up my page views!

So this morning, I went to see what the Boston sportswriters were saying about David Ortiz. I clicked on one of the lead stories on Boston.com, the Boston Globe's all-access website: "David Ortiz Can Craft a Tale, But He Has Trouble Keeping His Facts Straight," by Eric Wilbur. This article also leads the sports page right now, and is the most-read story on the site. And guess what? It extensively mentions me and my article!

Wilbur, like my Red Sox fan friend Paul Francis Sullivan said in his podcast. thinks Ortiz made a big mistake in writing on this PED issue, and explains why. Wilbur talks about me in several places in his article, saying:

The New York-based blog, “Subway Squawkers” may have provincial reasons to aim for the target on Ortiz’s back, but Lisa Swan does raise some valid points while fact checking Ortiz latest story.

Then Wilbur goes into how I found discrepancies between Ortiz's tale of finding out that he tested positive in 2003, and what really happened. He also talks about how I added up Big Papi's testing numbers, and how they don't add up. He also includes some additional numbers that Ortiz has claimed (emphasis added to show the newest info):

Swan also wonders about Ortiz’s claims about the number of times he’s been tested, which if you believe the player, seems to be at about a rate greater than most Americans cut their fingernails. In his written piece, Ortiz claims that he has been tested "more than 80 times" for PEDs since 2004. He also says he has been tested "ten times a season.” As Swan points out, being tested ten times a season would put him at 110 tests, not 80. Adding a bit more confusion to those figures, Ortiz claimed during a press conference on Aug. 8, 2009 to have passed about 15 drug tests since 2004, when MLB established a comprehensive drug-testing program.

So, he was tested only 15 times over five years, but another 65-95 over the next six?

Ortiz also told WEEI’s Rob Bradford last summer that he’s been tested about 40 times since Major League Baseball approved its testing policy. Based on that claim, he’s been tested at least another 40 times in less than a year if we’re to believe his latest estimation of 80. Where is the disconnect here?

Wilbur also links to an interview that Ortiz recently did with Bob Hohler of the Boston Globe, which ran Friday. This interview was also about the PED issue, and it had Ortiz making some rather inflammatory accusations about why his positive test result was revealed in 2003 (emphasis added):

Ortiz suspects he was the victim of a New York-based scheme aimed at diverting attention from doping scandals involving the Yankees. 

The New York media had focused intensely at the time on those scandals, the coverage exemplified by a Times book review that appeared several days before the paper broke its story about Ortiz and Ramirez. 

Under the headline, “Damn Yankees,’’ the author, Touré, wrote, “Why do Yankee fans still love the Yanks? The team has embarrassed its supporters by leading the league in steroid scandals — thanks, Jason Giambi, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez.’’ 

Ortiz smelled a rat. 

“The way [the leak] went down, the only thing I can think of is that it was a setup,’’ he said. “I really think they wanted to do damage to my image so it would be a distraction.’’ 

 Was it the Yankees? 

 “I don’t know, but it was something based in New York,’’ he said. “That’s all I can tell you.’’

Aside from the fact that this is a dopey conspiracy theory (the Giambi story broke in 2004, Pettitte Clemens in 2007, and A-Rod half a season before), Ortiz can't even keep his story straight from what he wrote two days ago in the Players' Tribune. Remember, his (incorrect) story then was that ESPN broke the story. Now it is a New York-based conspiracy (Hohler's Globe article acknowledges, as I pointed out, that it was the New York Times who broke the story.) Which one is it, dude?

And finally, Dan Shaughnessy absolutely eviscerated Ortiz in today's Globe. I had noted in my Squawk that Shaughnessy's actual 2013 interview with Ortiz was very different than how the DH disparagingly described it. So did Shaughnessy. His column is a thing of beauty, with a slew of great points showing why he questioned Ortiz and PED usage, and how he asked Ortiz these questions man to man.

My favorite line was this, though, saying why he thought Ortiz doing that Players' Tribune article was a mistake:

Jeter failed you on this one. A good editor would have discouraged this theme.

Ha!

The Players' Tribune may have a lot of players as editors and bureau chiefs, but apparently none of them as fact checkers. Maybe "Editor at Large" David Ortiz ought to hire a civilian to check himself.

Fact-checking David Ortiz's PED-denial column in the Players' Tribune

David Ortiz in his younger, smaller days.

Speak of the devil! I was just talking about David (Sherlock) Ortiz with my friend Staci on Facebook yesterday, We brought up his name because of ESPN New York noting that Alex Rodriguez now faces additional steroid tests. And just after we made the inevitable Ortiz "searching for why he tested positive" joke that many Yankee fans do, Sherlock finally addressed this issue, six years after it was revealed he tested positive for PEDs.

Ortiz is now an "Editor at Large" for Derek Jeter's Players' Tribune, and has "written" an article denying that he ever used PEDs.

An aside: I kind of find Jeter calling these athletes writing for his site "editors" and "bureau chiefs" a little weird. Players' Tribune contributor Mets pitcher Matt Harvey revealed in New York Magazine that he has business cards from the venture that say "NEW YORK BUREAU CHIEF." Really? Is Matt going to be assigning stories in the locker room, too? Marking up Juan Lagares' copy with a red pencil? Puh-lease.

Look, I make it a point of never saying "we" when it comes to the Yankees, because I ain't playing. So for athletes to be given such lofty titles for their contributions here would be like calling me a right fielder because I got stuck at that position in fifth grade gym glass.

Anyhow, I have a long memory when it comes to David Ortiz's PED denials. Plus, I wrote a lot on the issue back in 2009, when it was revealed that he tested positive in 2003. Anyhow, let's review Ortiz's claims in this article and see if they add up:

Ortiz starts his piece with a dramatic story of American drug testers showing up at his home at 7:30 in the morning in the Dominican Republic with "pee cups and big needles." He claims he has been tested "more than 80 times" for PEDs since 2004, and also says he has been tested "ten times a season" this whole time. His math doesn't add up in multiple ways (10x a year since 2004 is 110 times, not 80) and also because in 2009, he claimed he was tested "15 times" by MLB since 2003.

Incidentally, in the article I referenced above, ESPN claimed that in addition to everyone getting tested during the spring, there are only 350 random urine tests and 140 random blood tests done during each season, which, if those numbers are correct, would only cover a fraction of the 1200 players tested under the system. But we are supposed to believe that only Ortiz had been tested this many times? Really? C'mon now.

He also says, "I have never failed a single one of those tests and I never will." I say, "Neither did Alex Rodriguez and most of the players named in the Biogenesis scandal." (A-Rod reportedly told the feds he passed because he used midstream urine. If that actually works, then these tests are pretty meaningless!)

Ortiz then sez: "Some people still look at me like I’m a cheater because my name was on a list of players who got flagged for PEDs in 2003." (I want to put on my "Bette Davis in 'What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" voice to say, "But ya are, Blanche!")

Anyhow, after how talking about how much physical pain ballplayers are in (which I'm sure they are, but PEDs aren't painkillers!) Ortiz uses the "GNC" defense on his positive test, saying that in the early 2000s:

"I’m buying an over-the-f***ing-counter supplement in the United States of America. I’m buying this stuff in line next to doctors and lawyers. Now all of a sudden MLB comes out and says there’s some ingredient in GNC pills that have a form of steroid in them. I don’t know anything about it. If you think I’m full of it, go to your kitchen cabinet right now and read the back of a supplement bottle and honestly tell me you know what all of that stuff is. I’m not driving across the border to Mexico buying some shady pills from a drug dealer. I’m in a strip mall across from the Dunkin’ Donuts, bro."

However, contrary to his emphasis of buying the supplements in the U.S. at the friendly neighborhood GNC, Ortiz admitted in 2009 to buying some of those supplements in the Dominican Republic, where what is available over the counter is more loosey-goosey, to use an A-Rod-ism, than in the U.S. Ortiz also said then, "I definitely was a little bit careless back in those days when I was buying supplements and vitamins over the counter." Which made no sense -- why would you not pay attention to see what the stuff you took did, if for no other reason than to see if they worked?

He also doesn't mention Angel Presinal, the Dominican-born trainer who worked with both A-Rod and Ortiz, and who was banned from all MLB clubhouses after being linked to PEDs.

One of  my truisms in life is that those who are criticized the least overreact the most about it. And this whole piece seems to be a huge overreaction on Ortiz's part to mild criticism. As my friend Sully sez, the only MLB star who has gotten as much of a pass on the PED label than Andy Pettitte is Ortiz. So I don't know why he would bring this up now.

As those of us who have been paying attention in the last few years have noticed, Ortiz can be incredibly thin-skinned and self-absorbed -- a far cry from his lovable image. He whines a lot in this article, complaining about how people don't realize how hard he worked at hitting, griping about others not liking him pimping home runs -- and justifying it because he grew up poor in the Dominican Republic.

He plays up the racial angle about Dan Shaughnessy (the reporter with the red Jheri curls he refers to in the article) questioning him about PEDs in 2013; the actual conversation that they had was significantly different than the way he disparagingly describes it, with Shaughnessy making more concrete points -- that Ortiz has had injuries typical of those using PEDs and had quicker bat speed when getting older -- than he is described as doing.

Then Ortiz claims this is how he found out that he was on that failed test list:

I’ll never forget coming into the clubhouse before a day game against Oakland in 2009 when a reporter came up to me and said, “Hey, you know your name is about to be on a list of steroid users on ESPN?” I literally said, “Ha!” and walked away. God’s honest truth: I thought he was messing with me. About 30 minutes later, I’m getting dressed when I see my face pop up on the TV. I see “Failed Test. 2003.” No one had ever told me I’d failed any test.

Except The New York Times, not ESPN, broke the story. And Michael S. Schmidt, the reporter  on the case, talked to Ortiz before publishing the article, and Ortiz told him "I'm not talking about that anymore," a curious reaction from somebody who claims to have been blindsided by this news.

Also, Ortiz makes no mention in this article of the fact that the MLB players' union informed all the players who tested positive of this fact in 2004. So he knew about this back then, contrary to this dramatic story above.

At any rate, by doing this article, Ortiz is giving reporters a chance to bring this up all over again. There is already a perception among Yankee fans that A-Rod served his time for breaking the rules, while Ortiz had never been held accountable. This article certainly feeds into that perception. I think Big Papi made a big mistake in writing this.

Shocker: David Ortiz sez he 'didn't like' Ryan Dempster plunking A-Rod!

I saw this article earlier this morning and nearly spit out my coffee -- Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz has said some very shocking (and I mean shocking in a good way!) about Alex Rodriguez! In an interview with USA Today Sports, not only did Ortiz criticize teammate Ryan Dempster's strategy of throwing at A-Rod, and defend Rodriguez, but Ortiz also suggested that the reason MLB was going so hard after A-Rod was because of that huge contract. Here are the relevant quotes, and my comments:

Regarding Dempster plunking A-Rod:

"I didn't like it. I don't think it was the right thing to do,'' Ortiz told USA TODAY Sports. "But we don't all think alike, and the guy who did it, Dempster, is a great guy. It's not that I didn't think it was right because Alex and I are friends, because once you cross the white lines, everyone's on their own."

Isn't it when you cross the white lines you are supposed to be with your team, not on your own?

But anyway, here's what else Ortiz says:

"But we've got Tampa right on our heels, and that pitch woke up a monster in the Yankees' team at that moment. You saw how the game ended up. CC (Sabathia) was throwing 91 (mph) and started throwing 96. Alex later hit one way out there. You're talking about a good team that you can't wake up. But we learn from our mistakes.''

My Red Sox fan friend Sully Baseball was apoplectic about Dempster, saying exactly what Ortiz said about waking up the Yankees. And Squawker Jon, still on his summer Squawker sabbatical, points out that even if CC's velocity went up, he still gave up four runs to the Sox after this!

That being said, if the Yankees make the playoffs (and Tuesday night, after the walkoff win, was literally the first time all season I thought they had a chance to do so!), we will look back on this night as the turning point of the season. Actually, there are several turning points, and it is no coincidence that the Yankees' current 10 of 13 streak started on Friday, August 9, the first game A-Rod played at Yankee Stadium this year.

And how much must it kill Randy Levine and Brian Cashman and Hal Steinbrenner to know that A-Rod, the guy whose career they tried to destroy, is the No. 1 reason this team actually has a chance to make the post-season. (Sully also pointed out that Brian Cashman made a stink about Alfonso Soriano, one of the other main reasons the Yanks are contending!) Not to mention how much ratings and ticket sales are up --Tiqiq told me that in the last homestand, ticket prices have been "up 16% up to $94 on average."

Anyhow, that wasn't all that Ortiz said. The following words are just as interesting as him criticizing the plunking strategy. USA Today Sports writes that "Ortiz said it's not clear-cut which party to side with in the A-Rod-MLB dispute because not all the facts have been revealed, such as baseball's evidence that Rodriguez used PEDs and tried to obstruct the Biogenesis investigation. Plus, Rodriguez has not failed a drug test under the current Joint Drug Agreement."

"I thought handing down a 200-plus-game suspension had something to do with his contract,'' Ortiz said.

"And thinking in general terms, what's good for me, what's good for other players, what's good for your kids if they decide to become ballplayers, you can't let any team break a contract, because then the next time a player gets a DUI, or is charged with domestic violence or with any other thing, then the team may try to get out of a contract. They would have (precedent).''

Of course, MLB denied in the article that A-Rod's contract had anything to do with them going after him (yea, right!) but Ortiz, in his solipsism, is right. I still cannot stand him but I have to give him credit for understanding what is really going on here.

I just want to know what Ortiz thought of Alex's "homage" to him at home plate at Fenway Park after Alex's homer the other night!

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Red Sox Get Brooms Out Against the Yankees

Even though the Yankees-Red Sox game was running way past my bedtime last night, thanks to the rain delay that went on longer than an Phish concert,  I really did try to stay up until the end. But I trotted off to bed in disgust when David Ortiz gestured his arms like a Muppet hopped up on caffeine after getting yet another big hit off the Yanks.

At least earlier in the game Ortiz finally got plunked, thanks to CC Sabathia, after both Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez got hit by a pitch earlier in the game. Squawker Jon called me to tell me to put on the end of the Mavericks-Heat game, and I was like, "Ortiz got plunked! I have to watch this!" I did put the Mavs' game on in picture-in-picture, though. That was the only other real highlight of the evening, although I did also enjoy watching some of the Billy Joel at Shea Stadium concert on PBS while waiting for the rain delay to be over.

As for the Red Sox, funny thing is, though, that I found out last night, thanks to Squawker reader Larry, that technically, David Ortiz did get hit by a Yankee pitch once before -- in Game 1 of the 2003 ALCS. This is something that has been completely forgotten by everyone, including myself!

Of course, Ortiz was whining about the plunking after the game, blaming the media for it. He's rapidly moving up the charts as being my least favorite Red Sox again. For a while, he wasn't even cracking the top five; now he's No. 1 with a bullet!

Anyhow, I could rehash the rest of the painful loss, and discuss in detail that costly seven-run inning. But what else is there to say? It's a debacle!

* * *

Before I end this post, I guess I need to mention Squawker Jon talking about Joba Chamberlain needing Tommy John surgery. He pointed out that there was the Joba Rules, and the Hughes Rules, but there were no Kennedy rules, and he's, of course, still standing, with a 6-2 record this year, and a 3.01 ERA. So much for Michael Kay's Generation Trey, eh? (Speaking of which, I haven't forgotten that Rafael Soriano started going bad the moment Kay came up with the dopey JoSoMo nickname, and now Joba's hurt. If anything happens to Mariano Rivera, I'm blaming Michael Kay!)

Last night, Jon also helpfully pointed out the possibility that Francisco Rodriguez could be a Yankee, due to his contract being too expensive for the Mets, and the Yankees' bullpen woes. Oh, great. I guess I have that to look forward to, right? Good grief.

What do you have to say about this series? Join the squawk!

Another Yankees-Red Sox Game, Another Debacle

What a frustrating game to watch. Unlike Tuesday night, I did make it home in time to watch the top of the first inning of the last night's Yankees-Red Sox game. Unfortunately, it was the same old, same old, with the Sox getting three runs in the first. To top it all of, David Ortiz, instead of getting brushed back, got to camp out at home plate and hit a home run off The Bad A.J., who seems to show up every time against the Red Sox. What a nightmare.

Oh, and Ortiz had some classy things to say after last night:

“I don’t care what Joe Girardi says,” the Boston slugger fired back at a local New York writer. “Take it like a man. I’m done with that.” ....

“I don't want to be on national news tomorrow,” replied Ortiz on not flipping his bat after a two-run blast Wednesday. “I don’t want to have you guys asking me the same questions. I got almost 370 bombs in the big leagues and everybody wants to make a big deal because I bat flip one of them. [Expletive] that [expletive], man. If I have to make that video on my [expletive], let’s see how many bat flips I got on this [expletive]. Good night.”

Speaking of which, we're coming up on the second anniversary of the news that Ortiz failed a PED test. Remember how Sherlock Ortiz wasn't going to rest until he found out what happened? It's amazing he can still have time to play and solve crimes at the same time!

Dwight Gooden, of all people, weighed in on Twitter yesterday about Ortiz's bat flip, writing "In the 80s Ortiz would be laying on his ass right now after the stunt he pulled last night."And Red Sox Nation had a lot to say in our comments section as well yesterday, especially after my column on Ortiz got mentioned on Yahoo Sports' Big League Stew!

My own thoughts? I don't understand why Ortiz *still* has never been plunked by a Yankee, after all these years. The Yankees make him feel so comfortable at the plate, I half-expect them to bring out a pillow and a mint for him!

* * *

In other news, how about that Brett Gardner? He's on the lineup in no small part because of his speed, and he doesn't run home in the sixth when the ball gets away? So much for that. He said he didn't move because he thought the ball hit Jeter, which makes no sense.

And remember the days when Derek Jeter used to get the big hit? Unfortunately, those days are few and far between now, and last night, he hit into a rally-killing double play after Gardner's bumbling.

For all the hype about Captain Clutch's upcoming 3000 hits milestone, and the DJ3K bracelet, the fact is that he is having an even worse year than he did last season, even though many fans and writers thought his troubles were over after he hit two home runs against the Rangers. Last year, he hit .270, with 30 doubles, 10 home runs, and a .710 OPS. This year so far, he's hitting .260, with 7 doubles, 2 home runs and a .655 OPS. Yikes!

Oh, and what was up with Alfredo Aceves? Aside from the fact I was muttering to myself about why Brian Cashman didn't re-sign him, I was a little unnerved by how much he was sweating. It was like there was a showerhead installed right above his head, he was so wet. Or maybe he splashed cold water on himself between innings? What was the deal there?

What are your thoughts on Yankees-Red Sox?

On David Ortiz' Bat Flip, and The Yankees-Red Sox Series

I was on the bus home from the Staten Island Ferry when the Yankees-Red Sox game started last night, and I was following the progress via my iPhone. By the time I arrived home, the Yankees were already losing 3-0. Not a great way to start off the evening.

And it got even worse. I also missed seeing Mark Teixeira getting helped off the field. What a nightmare. Between that, and David Ortiz's hitting a home run, complete with an obnoxious bat flip, it wasn't exactly an evening for the ages for Yankee fans. (Although Jorge Posada fans did get to see him ably step up with his best game of the year -- his first 2011 three-hit game -- after he stepped in to take Mark Teixeira's place in the lineup, and at first.)

But as for Ortiz, I was irritated by his antics during the game (what, he was mad Hector Noesi went a little inside on him? Spare me. Ortiz still has never been hit by a Yankee pitcher. Ever!) and even more annoyed by his arrogant comments afterwards. He said:

“It’s not my first time. It’s not going to be my last time. So, big deal,” he said.

“I’m a home run hitter. It’s not like I do it all the time. But it’s part of the excitement. What can I tell you? I just went deep. You want more emotion than that. I just went deep. It’s another homer for Papi.

“That was one of the Papi good ones.”

Two third-person references in one interview? Oy. What happened to the personable Ortiz, any way, the one who didn't come across like a clown in interviews?

The Yankees weren't happy about his little show last night, and we'll see if they enact a little payback this series.

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Support The FasterTimes - and the Subway Squawkers!

I've written a few pieces for The Faster Times that should interest our readers.

Think Steve Phillips was out of control ridiculous with his suggestion that the Nationals trade Stephen Strasburg for Roy Oswalt? I do too. Check out what I had to say here.

I also wrote about David Ortiz complaining about the media's coverage of his slump. While I can see his point that the media wrote him off way too soon, he also has a real blind spot when it comes to the press. Read my article here.

You can still join up with The Faster Times and help Squawker Jon and me - we get 70 percent of the proceeds if you designate one of us as the columnist of your choosing. You can sign up for as little as $12. But if you pay $60 or more, you can get a column written by me on any baseball topic you'd like me to write about! What a deal. There are also all sorts of cool gifts you get with membership, from magazine subscriptions to tote bags to assorted other goodies.

But that's not all. If you sign up today, you'll get invited to a very cool literary networking event this Thursday, featuring all sorts of big names in the industry. Check out info here.

Could David Ortiz end up as (gulp!) a Yankee?

There's been talk for the last week or so about the possibility of the struggling slugger David Ortiz getting released from the Red Sox. And today, my blogging friend Steve Lombardi of Was Watching wonders if the Yankees might pick up Big Papi. (I had been thinking of writing a similar piece to tie in to this weekend's Yanks-Sox series, but Steve beat me to the punch - I mean keyboard!)

My guess is that if the Sox release Ortiz, the chances are better than 50/50 that Brian Cashman will pick him up. Here's my logic:

* It's a low-risk, high reward move. If the change of scenery somehow rejuvenates Ortiz, then the Yanks not only get a good player for the major league minimum, but they stick it to the Red Sox. If it doesn't, then the Yanks can just dump him.

* There's plenty of historical precedent for such a move. From big stars like Babe Ruth and Wade Boggs becoming Yankees, to mid-level stars like Johnny Damon and Luis Tiant, to aging stars like George Scott, to the modern day-precedents of Alan Embree and Mark Bellhorn getting released by Boston and picked up by New York, Red Sox putting on pinstripes has happened a ton. Why wouldn't it happen again?

* Nick Johnson isn't exactly the second coming of Reggie Jackson in the DH spot. Is there a chance that Cashman could give Ortiz a chance there, at least on a part-time basis? Absolutely.


* Other than the weekend after he was revealed to have been part of that infamous 2003 list of 104 PED users, where he got booed strongly by Yankee fans, Ortiz has never gotten quite the same type of vitriol that, say, the likes of Curt Schilling has received from the Bomber faithful. It's not that Ortiz is exactly liked by Yankee fans, but he's just never been one of the most hated Red Sox the way, say, Jonathan Papelbon is now, or Pedro Martinez was back in the day.

* Alex Rodriguez is good friends with Ortiz. I could see A-Rod vouching for him. And unlike some other past Red Sox, Ortiz doesn't seem to be hated by the Yankee players.

And forget about the idea that Ortiz would turn down being a Yankee, out of loyalty to the Red Sox. Please. If the Sox dump him, I could see him wanting to stick it to them, the way he was so bitter about the Minnesota Twins once releasing him. And what better way is there to do that than to be a Yankee?

So, Yankee fans: get your Pepto-Bismol ready. I could be wrong, but I have a hunch that we may be seeing one of the great Yankee killers of all time in pinstripes! Oh joy.

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Predictions for Yankees-Red Sox at Fenway

Programming note: You can read my in-game rants about Yankees-Red Sox this weekend by adding me as a Facebook friend, or checking me out at Twitter. Last time around, I correctly predicted in Facebook and Twitter during the fifteen inning game that A-Rod would hit a walkoff homer.

Tonight, I'm predicting that Friday's game will not be a scoreless one!

Um, actually, I'm getting a late start on predictions this weekend. Last time around, I correctly predicted that:

* The Yanks would win Thursday and Friday

* The crowds would be the most intense and loud at the ballpark so far

* A-Rod would hit a homer and break his homerless streak

*, David Ortiz would be lawyered up and blame a supplement for his PED test result,

* Ortiz would hear bigtime boos

* Melky Cabrera would have an iconic moment

* And Squawker Jon would be in despair if the Yankees won the series (he's still in the fetal position!)

I was incorrect in predicting that:

* The Yankees would lose Game 3 and 4 (although I'm not exactly crying about being wrong on that!)

* Victor Martinez and Nick Swisher would have big moments

Anyhow, let me get going with my predictions for this weekend:

* The Yankees are winning 6-1 as I squawk, so it wouldn't be fair to make a specific prediction for tonight (besides, I would be a jinx in doing so!) I do think the Yankees will win the series, 2 games to 1, and seal up the division.

* I also think Kevin Youkilis will end up getting plunked again. And even if it's an accident, I could totally see him losing his temper and starting a brawl.

* David Ortiz will hit at least one homer. So will A-Rod.

* The ESPN and Fox announcers will be annoying. (Gotta have a prediction I am sure will come true!)

* Mark Teixeira will have an iconic series, and help his MVP chances.

* Jonathan Papelbon will be shaky, and then say something stupid in the postgame.

* And finally, Squawker Jon will continue to be in despair over the Yankees!

One other note - I'm so happy that Jerry Remy is back in action! He's my favorite member of Red Sox Nation.

What do you think? Leave us a comment!

My thoughts on David Ortiz's presser

Squawker reader Jonmouk71 wanted to know what I thought of the David Ortiz press conference. Answer is: not very much. Granted, Ortiz is a very likeable guy, and a beloved figure in baseball. Heck, even after the whole steroids scandal surrounding him, he still garnered very few votes so far in the Subway Squawkers poll on our readers' least favorite Red Sox. (Jonathan Papelbon may be untainted by steroids, but he is also the overwhelming "winner" so far in the poll.)

All that being said, Ortiz's story just isn't plausible. As SNY-TV's Sam Borden wrote:

"I definitely was a little bit careless back in those days when I was buying supplements and vitamins over the counter," Ortiz said, as if this was somehow a good thing. A person whose livelihood depends on physical activity is so "careless" he doesn't read labels? Doesn't know what's he swallowing? Doesn't even remember whether he took a particular product?

Exactly. It defies credulity that Ortiz, who has a personal chef, didn't pay attention to what he was taking. Besides, wouldn't he want to know what worked, and what didn't? And very few people in the media are noting that Ortiz admitted that he was indeed in 2004 about being on the list. So how could he be "blindsided"? And why wouldn't he find out then from the union what he failed the test on, so that he wouldn't take that same stuff again?

And, more to the point, whatever "vitamins" and "supplements" he was taking turned him from a mediocrity to MLB's top RBI producer from 2003 to 2007. Yet he wants us to believe he had no idea what he was doing? C'mon now.

Aside from wanting somebody to ask why Ortiz was dressed like Roy Clark on "Hee Haw," here are some other questions that I would have liked to see Big Papi have to answer:

* Did he ever take HGH?

* What about Jerry Remy's son saying that he talked steroids with his personal trainer?

* Exactly what supplements and vitamins did Ortiz take back then?

* Why isn't he petitioning the government for his test results, to clear his name?

* Why did it take nine days for him to talk? All this defense about multiple lists and such were things the union knew six years ago, so that can't be the reason.

If the lack of Red Sox in the Mitchell Report didn't make you cynical enough, the fact that MLB and the Players Union issued a joint press release about the steroids test really makes you wonder if everybody is in the tank for Boston. That, and the fact that the union was nowhere to be found when it came to Alex Rodriguez.

Even the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy noted the disparity as to the union being MIA with A-Rod:

“We thought we were pretty darn vocal,’’ Weiner said. “We wrote a long and publicly-released letter to congressmen Waxman and Davis. Maybe we made a mistake of thinking people would read a letter sent to congressmen.’’

Right. Most of us routinely inspect all correspondence between the Players Association and Congress. Sorry we missed this one.

Good point. But Shaughnessy's skepticism isn't shared by some other media members. AOL's Lisa Olson writes:

Despite everything I know and all the lies and denials I've heard players utter over the years, I'm inclined to believe Ortiz, despite the circumstantial evidence tracking his mediocre career in Minnesota to his superstar resurgence with Boston. Here's why: no union officials ever felt the need to sit beside Giambi, Ramirez or Pettitte during their so-called confessionals.

Let me get this straight. Ortiz is a player who never hit over 20 home runs in Minnesota, nor drove in 75 RBIs, goes on to average 44 home runs/128 RBIs a year from 2003-2007. But Olson believes him because a guy from a union that is on record as saying that steroids are no worse than cigarettes is at the presser? Good grief.

Maybe that was Barry Bonds' mistake - he should have had some slick union dude backing up his "I thought it was flaxseed oil" story.

Yankee fans have noted ESPN's anti-Yankee bias for years. This weekend, the same network that had one of their anchors chanting "boli, boli, boli" about A-Rod, thought Ortiz's presser was "genuine." And while A-Rod's PED scandal involved wall-to-wall coverage, the Ortiz story is barely a footnote on ESPN.com today.

What's the cliche - no cheering in the press box? Too bad so many in the media can't resist shaking pom-poms when it comes to carrying water for David Ortiz.

What do you think? Leave us a comment!

New York Times writer George Vecsey misses boat on David Ortiz booing

Payback was the operative word in last night's game. The Yankees finally beat - make that pummeled - the Red Sox. A very whiny Dustin Pedroia got plunked in apparent payback for the Red Sox plunking A-Rod at Fenway. And David Ortiz got booed - loudly - as payback for the Sox fans' "You do steroids" chants.

But one New York Times writer seems to think that Ortiz didn't get booed loudly at all. George Vecsey, who admits that he spent years saying "Got proof?" to fans emailing him that Ortiz was a juicer, and now claims that Ortiz's positive PED test is "unofficial"and somehow does "not count" in the scheme of things, seems to be just as myopic over Big Papi's reception at last night's game.

In "On Big Day for Bronx, Cheating Is a Non-Issue," Vecsey writes:

But on this day of Sotomayor’s confirmation and Ali’s visit, Big Papi did not stir up much anger, or even make-believe anger. Big Papi made a pro-active strike, bellying up to the rail to sign autographs and pose for photographs with fans in Red Sox gear or striped Yankee jerseys. Classic Big Papi, the man of the people. Hard to boo a fellow like that, or even stick out the tongue between the lips and make the razzing sound long associated with the Bronx.

Vecsey also called Ortiz either "Big Papi" or "Papi" an incredible eleven times in the article. Put down your red pom-poms, dude.

Vecsey continues his worshipful piece this way:

To be sure, the Outdoor A Cappella Choir of the Right-Field Bleachers did come up with some vocal raspberries for the Red Sox and emit a flurry of boos when Papi was introduced in the starting lineup. But the response was nothing like the yowling vengeance-is-ours tone of e-mail messages from Yankee fans in recent weeks, celebrating the news about Ortiz. Maybe people who pay these prices psychologically check their anger at the gate, along with their water bottles. Or maybe it’s hard to hate Big Papi in person, when he presses the flesh....

Big Papi did hear some boos at 7:17 p.m. when he batted with two men on and two outs, but it pretty much died out before he dug in his spikes.

What game was Vecsey watching, exactly? The one on his "Faith Rewarded" Sox DVD or something? Because his description was as off the mark as his assertion about Yankee fans' emails about Ortiz in "recent weeks" is (it was one week, not multiple weeks.)

In an article entitled "David Ortiz can't hide from Bronx boobirds," Steve Buckley of the Boston Herald described that same scene this way:

When the Red Sox starting lineup was announced, it was as though everyone in the joint was waiting, just waiting, for one name.

And when that name was announced - Ortiz was the fifth hitter in the Red Sox order, behind Kevin Youkilis - the predictable long, droning chorus of boos commenced....

The booing he received during introductions turned out to be a mere appetizer for what happened in the first inning, when, with runners on first and second, two down, Ortiz came up to face Yankees starter Joba Chamberlain.

The booing started even before Ortiz’ name was announced, and it continued throughout the at-bat, which ended with a fly out to right. Ortiz finished the game 0-for-5 as the Red Sox lost, 13-6.

Let's see how the Boston Globe described last night's game:

Even before he emerged from the dugout to the on-deck circle in the first inning, fans in the right-field bleachers - the notoriously rowdiest section - chanted, “Papi sucks.’’

Once he walked to the plate and kicked dirt off of his spikes, the crowd hurled loud, extended boos at him.

One fan along the left-field foul line held up a white placard with a thick, black asterisk.

So much for Vecsey's assertion that the boos were not very vociferous, and "pretty much died out before he dug in his spikes," eh? It's one thing for him to have opinions - he's a columnist, after all, and having opinions about sports are pretty much his job description. It's another thing for him to ignore or minimize what really happened to Ortiz at last night's game in order to make his point that fans don't really care about cheating.

Heck, even the sportswriter's own paper contradicted his assertion. How embarrassing is that? From New York Times writer Jack Curry's description of last night's game:

When Ortiz’s name was announced in the first inning, he was heavily booed. One Yankees fan held up a sign that said, “Roid Sox,” and another waved a sign with an “asterisk” on it. There was another interesting scene as a man wearing an Alex Rodriguez jersey stood, cupped his hands around his mouth and aggressively booed Ortiz. Rodriguez acknowledged in February that he had used steroids.

In his previous piece on Ortiz, Vecsey asserted that the New York Times' partial ownership of the Red Sox did not affect the paper's coverage of the team. If we are to take his word for it that it doesn't, then it just means that Vecsey writes about the Red Sox like a gushing fanboy all on his own. Good grief.

What do you think? Leave us a comment!

Predictions for Yankees-Red Sox series

Drum roll please...it's time for me to make my Yankees-Red Sox series predictions. Let's hope there are no "Price Is Right" sad horn tones in my future.

* I think the Yankees will split the series. But if they only win one game, it needs to be tonight. If the Yankees go 0-9 against the Sox, the Internet will blow up even more than it did this morning, when Twitter and Facebook went down! Here's my breakdown of the games:

^ Game 1: John Smoltz vs. Joba Chamberlain: Smoltz is 100 years old, while Joba is young, healthy, and finally seems to have gotten it together. Advantage - Yankees.

^ Game 2: Josh Beckett vs. A.J. Burnett: I debated long and hard on who would win this one. The Sox have owned A.J. all year, but Burnett has been so dominant as of late. I'm going to take a risk here and roll the dice in favor...Burnett! Advantage: Yankees

^ Game 3: Clay Buchholz vs. CC Sabathia: I should say CC, but I won't. I have a hunch that Clay will pitch well against the Yankees, and that CC will have a bad outing. Advantage: Red Sox

^ Game 4: Jon Lester vs. Andy Pettitte: Pettitte has had some very bad outings at the Stadium this year. It would not surprise me to see him get hit hard. And Lester is a heck of a good young pitcher. So no, I don't see the Yanks winning this one, either. Advantage: Red Sox

A few other predictions:

* A-Rod will end the home run drought - he's gone 61 at-bats without a homer, the longest drought in his Yankee career.

* David Ortiz will dodge the steroid question a few days, then be lawyered up when he does finally talk, and say close to nothing. He'll give some excuse of an obscure supplement that just happened to cause a positive test results. Oh, and the booing for Ortiz, especially the first at-bat tonight, will make the Yankee fans' booing of Carl Pavano look like a lovefest!

* We'll see the biggest, loudest crowds we've seen at Yankee Stadium this year. I noticed on StubHub that there were only a few hundred tickets left today. Last time the Sox were in the Bronx, tickets were available below face value. This week - not so much.

* Nick Swisher will have some sort of iconic moment. So will Melky Cabrera. And Victor Martinez will be a thorn in the Yankees' side

* And finally, if the Yanks win the series, Squawker Jon will be in despair. That's not a prediction, that's a promise!

What are your prediction? Leave us a comment!

Boston Dirt Dogs mocks Sherlock Ortiz, and John Henry breaks his silence

The day the David Ortiz steroids story broke, I mocked him on The Faster Times for his claims that he would investigate what he tested positive for. I called him "Sherlock Ortiz."

So you can imagine my delight today to see none other than Red Sox fan site Boston Dirt Dogs run with the "Sherlock Ortiz" theme. They even did a photo illustration of Ortiz as Sherlock Holmes! Check it out here. Best part, besides the fact the site linked to Ken Davidoff's Newsday piece quoting me, was this tidbit:

Can You Believe That Alex Rodriguez Handled This 1,000 Times Better Than You?

How funny is that?

Here's the thing with A-Rod. However goofy he sounded, he communicated some remorse, and explained a heck of a lot more than anybody else has so far. As it turned out, he actually did handle this okay.

Meanwhile, Ortiz is still claiming he doesn't know what he tested positive for. Gimme a break.

And get this. Today John Henry finally spoke - a little - about this! Wonder if he will go back to Twitter now?

As for the Newsday article feauring me, I found a newsstand on Staten Island selling the paper, and bought out their supply. It was only two newspapers, but still!

Oh, and Squawker reader Paul from Boston noted that Davidoff's piece was republished on the Boston Herald web site. So I am being read in Red Sox Nation. Check out that link here.

Coming later today, my predictions for Yankees-Red Sox. But in the meantime, please leave us a comment!

Whoo-hoo! I got quoted in today's Newsday!

Stop the presses! Newsday columnist Ken Davidoff interviewed me in his column in today's Newsday. Check it out here.

He asked me about the rivalry, and what Yankee fans' reactions would be to Ortiz. I wrote about this subject for the Faster Times last week, and elaborated on it in the interview.

Anyhow, the best part of the piece is that Davidoff wrote the words, "I think Swan is right"! I told Jon I'm going to remind him of that quote every time we argue on something. It could be like a movie blurb!

Davidoff is a great writer who also does a daily blog on baseball. In case you haven't been able to find that blog thanks to Newsday's redesign, go here.

Thanks very much to Ken for writing about me in Newsday!

* * *

"The Greatest Game" writer Richard Bradley linked to Davidoff's piece in his own blog, "Shots in the Dark." Bradley also wrote some terrific analysis on the calculation behind Ortiz. Check it out here.

What do you think? Leave us a comment!

On David Ortiz, missed opportunites, and the trading deadline

A-Rod looks like the truth-teller for the ages compared to his buddy David Ortiz. For all his goofiness, Alex never pretended that he had no idea how he tested positive on a steroids test!

I found David Ortiz' postgame statement ridiculous - here's my piece on it for the The Faster Times site.

At any rate, I should be more upset over all the missed opportunites in last night's Yankees-White Sox game, from the errors to the lack of timely hitting to DeWayne Wise being the late-inning hero for the second time in a week. But hey, I'm still basking in the afterglow of the big Red Sox news.

I did enjoy the heck out of Nick Swisher's ninth-inning, game-tying homer against his own team, though. Hopefully, he'll get even more revenge against the Sox tonight.

Let's hope Brian Cashman has some good surprises in score today, as we wait for the trading deadline.

What do you think? Leave us a comment!

It's steroid schadenfreude in Yankeeland

The news that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez failed the 2003 steroids test makes this the most exciting day in the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry for me since the Yanks swooped in and signed Mark Teixeira. And I make no apologies for feeling that way.

Sorry, I'm not going to pretend I think this is a sad day for baseball. I have written for a piece for The Faster Times called "Steroids: The Real Juice Behind Reversing the Curse of the Bambino" - with some of my thoughts on the issue.

As I've said a zillion times over the years, Sox fans should have thought about the very real possibility that the steroids scandal would hit their team. Especially when it came to David Ortiz. But instead, too many Boston fans - not all, but a good bunch - acted like their team's hands were clean on the issue. Too bad, so sad.

Oh, and so much for FoxSports' Ken Rosenthal's self-righteousness on the issue, criticizing anybody who wondered if Ortiz was chemically enhanced.

The thing that gets me the most on this test failure - and that goes for A-Rod too - is that these players knew the test was coming, and they still failed. What hubris.

Wondering if Curt Schilling still wants the entire list of 103 names to come out?

One other note - Jon and I will still be squawking, but we're going to be writing in other outlets as well. I have another piece coming up soon on BaseballReflections.com. Go here to read my article for them about the first half of the Yankees' season.


What do you think? Leave us a comment!

Hey Ya! David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez Test Positive for Steroids!

Time to do the Snoopy Dance! I will have more to say shortly about the big news that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez reportedly tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. I'm writing a piece up right now. But in the meantime, let me just do the Snoopy Dance and enjoy the news!