Honor Chipper Jones? How about with a gift certificate to Hooters?

Sorry, Mets fans, for jinxing your team. (Well, not really, but I have to be nice!) Squawker Jon is right -- I am the Citi Field jinx!

But when it comes to making dopey moves, your team doesn't need any help. Like the reported notion for the Mets planning to somehow honor Chipper (Larry) Jones in his last season. Why would you give a moment's tribute to somebody who mocked your team by naming his child Shea, and who has kicked your team's fannies ten ways to Tuesday? When I wrote on my Facebook page that the Mets were going to do something to commemorate Chipper's career, even Yankee fans were outraged. More than one said that it would be like the Bombers honoring David Ortiz for his career!

You guys have one retired player number in 50 years, and you're going to do something to honor Chipper? Really? If your team does so, I strongly suggest giving him a gift certificate to Hooters (Google Chipper Jones and Hooters for the details!), coupled with a showing of "The Three Stooges," with everybody chanting "Lar-ry!"

What I remember most about the Mets first post 9/11 game at home was not Mike Piazza's home run, or Liza Minnelli singing "New York, New York." It was how jarring it was to see Mets players hug Chipper Jones! Please, keep the hate. Don't do anything to honor this clown!

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Speaking of the Mets, I want to point out two things about Dillon Gee, the starting pitcher in the game we attended. First of all, he was seen on this pre-game clip on Diamond Vision telling fans not to jump on the field. Then he pauses, and strokes his beard. What's up with that? Is he auditioning for the new season of "Duck Dynasty"?

Then there is the matter of his theme song. The part of the song played when he enters of the game says: "You can run on for a long time, run on for a long time, run on for a long time." It sounded like Johnny Cash, and it was. The song is entitled "God's Gonna Cut You Down," and the lyrics that weren't featured in the intro are pretty intense:

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Yikes!

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As for today's Yankees Opening Day, sadly, I am not going. But it makes me feel like an Old Timer to see that the now-retired Jorge Posada is throwing out the first pitch!


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Bronson Arroyo (!) thinks what A-Rod did is no big deal

Even though you might expect Bronson Arroyo to take offense at Alex Rodriguez's supposed breach of unwritten rules against Dallas Braden, the Cincinnati Reds pitcher thought it was no big thing.

The victim of A-Rod's infamous 2004 slap play told MLB.com his opinion on the issue:

Arroyo, discussing Thursday's incident in Oakland when the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez ran over the pitchers' mound after a foul ball prompting a stern reaction from A's pitcher Dallas Braden, said it was really no big deal.

"Honestly, the thing about running across the mound, I vaguely know that the rule is there," Arroyo said. "I've never been on a team where it happened and somebody got fired up about it. I wouldn't think twice about A-Rod running across the top of my mound."

Not surprisingly, this quote hasn't gotten any coverage. I found it buried in a roundup-type piece on MLB.com. Of course, if it had been a negative quote, it would have been front-page news. And people wonder why I complain about the sports media's bias!

That's not all. Two big-name Atlanta Braves players thought Braden was completely in the wrong. Check out these quotes, buried in the middle of a Mets notes piece:

Both Tim Hudson and Chipper Jones thought A's pitcher Dallas Braden went overboard with his verbal salvo against A-Rod after the Yankee star crossed the pitcher's mound while returning to first base.

"To be honest with you, I think it's a little much," said Hudson. "That's not an unwritten rule. Obviously Braden wanted to make a point. ... It looks a little bit silly. I think (Braden) might have took two or three cups of coffee too deep that day."

Added Jones: "I didn't realize that pitchers got that upset. I think it was blown out of proportion. Seemed pretty childish to me. There are better ways to handle it, I think. ... I'll go out of my way to avoid the mound now."

So yeah, most baseball fans aren't aware of those quotes, or even of the way that Derek Jeter and other Yankee teammates have had their third baseman's back.

On the other hand, David Wells' criticism of A-Rod was treated by the media like he was the Oracle of Baseball or something. Given the way that he helped cost the Yankees the 2003 World Series by his inability to take care of himself - or to tell Yankee management his back was hurting - I wouldn't give his words any credibility whatsoever. But the New York Post's George King does, giving them more play than anybody else in an article on the issue.

"A-Rod is full of [bleep], that he never heard of that," Wells told The Post from San Diego yesterday. "He has been around the game long enough to know that."....

"I hated it when runners did that. I yelled at plenty of them," Wells said. "It's one thing to cross in the front of the mound before it goes up, but on top of it, that's wrong. The cleats [mess] up the mound. Pitchers don't go in front of fielders and put their spikes in the dirt.

"I totally agree [with Braden] 'Get off my mound.' I would have done the same thing with A-Rod, or anybody else. [Bleep] it."

I have two questions for Wells:

* If it's such an unwritten rule that everybody knows, then why did so many runners in your day do this to you?

* And if it happened so often that you "yelled at plenty of them," can you please name one of the players who did this? Thanks!

Something tells me that if any reporter probed Wells further, he'd have nothing to back up his claims. Kind of like the way he had to backtrack on his own autobiography!

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Dog days at Citi Field, but what about the cats?

I had the Met game on in the background this afternoon, because I wanted my day to go to the dogs.. Today is the first Bark in the Park day at Citi Field, where dogs are welcome. Squawker Jon and I read in the paper last night that all the dog tix were sold out. I figured there would be some doggie scalper out there barking to his brethren about having extra tickets!

They had a pre-game dog parade before the game, but according to Mets.com, "dogs will not be allowed on the field for the postgame Mr. Met Dash." Bummer.

But what about the cats? A feline christened Kiti - I mean Citi - Field - on Opening Night last year. When are the cats of the world going to get their moment in the sun - and in the ballpark? Unfair, I say!

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As for Friday night's game at Citi Field, Squawker Jon revealed some scandalous news- that I actually wore the Mets ski cap. First of all, I wore the cap with the Geico logo up front, and the Mets logo in the back, kind of tucked in.. Then I decided to put the cap inside out, so there was no chance that the Met logo would be shown.

Anyhow, I cheered for Melky Cabrera and Eric Hinske. Sadly, Melky got booed a lot, with one guy near us calling him "Yankee trash." I think he was just jealous of Melky's new ring.

And yes, I did applaud Luis Castillo. And Ike Davis. As Riddering, one of our readers, notes, he looks like a young Bruce Springsteen. But not Chipper Jones. I do have some standards, after all!

We were trying to figure who is the all-time Met villain. I say Chipper. Heck, some Braves fan wearing his jersey got the "Larry" chants on the way to the subway. We also tossed around the names Roger Clemens and Pat Burrell. But I'm going to have Metstradamus, the creator of the Hall of Hate, who his pick is.

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Ike Davis goes yard, Chipper drops a pop and Squawker Lisa wears a Met hat

My first trip to Citi Field this season was a huge success. I went with Squawker Lisa, who was excited to see the new Braves - Melky Cabrera, Eric Hinske and Jason Heyward, in that order.

It was a night of historic firsts:

* Ike Davis hit his first major league home run. And it was not a cheap shot, but a 450-foot bomb that went over the bullpen and almost reached the Shea Bridge.

* Jose Reyes batted third for the first time. So far, so good for the new lineup, which produced five runs (with the help of four Braves errors).

But the most important lineup change made this week was replacing Mike Jacobs with Davis.

* Hisanori Takahashi got his first major-league hit. All right, nobody besides Takahashi cares about that, but he did save the game after Maine left with an injury, going three good innings and striking out seven.

I'm glad Maine's not seriously hurt, but if he does have to miss a start, I look forward to a more important historic first from Takahashi - his first major-league start. Maybe Maine will end up in the bullpen, where he and the Mets might be better off.

As great as it was to see Davis's first homer, it was almost as great to see Chipper Jones make two errors - misjudging a foul pop in the sixth and dropping a pop in the seventh.

What was particularly satisfying about Chipper's drop was that Lisa did cheer for one Met tonight - Luis Castillo. Every time he came up, Lisa reminded me about his dropped pop in last year's Subway Series. She suggested that Castillo donate his glove to the new Met Hall of Fame.

So when Met arch-nemesis Chipper dropped his own pop, helping along a Met rally, suddenly all seemed right in the world.

Tonight was Ski Cap Night, which led to the final historic first - Lisa wearing a Met hat! Rest assured that she fussed with the cap to make sure the Met logo didn't show, eventually just turning it inside out.

But it was brisk in row 11 of the upper promenade, so another questionable decision by the Mets - scheduling Ski Cap Night in late April - actually turned out to be a good one.

The best decision the Mets have made in some time, however, was bringing up Ike Davis. It's not all him, but it's not a coincidence that a team that won only four of their first 12 games before he arrived has won four of five since Davis joined the team.