But first, A-Rod. Yankee hitting coach Kevin Long, who has been working with Alex in Miami this offseason, admits to the New York Times that the A-Rod/Madonna drama may have affected the third baseman's performance last year:
“I can’t even imagine going through a divorce in the middle of a season and trying to compete at the highest level. He was able to do a good job, but there were days last year when you could just tell he had a lot on his mind. He’d be looking through you, and not completely focused like I’d seen him. You try to push that to the side for a couple of hours and do the best you can, but it’s easier said than done.”
Yikes! Given this, you'd hope that Alex's personal life would be a bit less, well, dramatic this year. But MSNBC reports that the recently-divorced Material Girl may be miffed at A-Rod because he has been skipping Kabbalah classes:
“This is certainly off-putting to Madonna,” says the source. “She did drag Guy into Kabbalah, she’s doing the same now (with Rodriguez). But he’s bored. He’s basically a Kabbalah school dropout.”
Talk about a song parody waiting to happen. I can hear it now, to the tune of "Beauty School Dropout" from "Grease." Can't you just picture Frankie Avalon crooning this to Alex?: "Access Hollywood" reports that Cynthia, who's in the final stages of her divorce from A-Rod, wrote an e-mail to a confidant noting: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. . . She called and he ran on her command back to New York City . . . Gross!"
Kabbalah school dropout
No red string bracelet day for you
Kabbalah school dropout
Highlighted your hair, but Madonna's still blue
I'm also imagining Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, and Jorge Posada chiming in on harmony. Okay, maybe I'm not Weird Al Yankovic or anything, but I think there's something there!
Anyhow, a day after this article runs, Cynthia Rodriguez is reported to be furious at her estranged hubby:
"Access Hollywood" reports that Cynthia, who's in the final stages of her divorce from A-Rod, wrote an e-mail to a confidant noting: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. . . She called and he ran on her command back to New York City . . . Gross!"
I dunno if I'd want to spend Thanksgiving with Madonna. And it's not just the likelihood that she'd demand to be the center of attention and start rolling around the table when it was time to pass the cranberry sauce. It's that she adheres to a notoriously restrictive macrobiotic diet and made her ex Guy Ritchie follow it as well, to the point where he had to put rice milk in his tea. Yum!
Oh, and her onetime husband was reportedly forced to beg Her Madgesty to allow their son Rocco to have a birthday cake. And Madonna also sleeps in a plastic suit, slathered with expensive anti-aging cream. Good times!
The A-Rod/Madonna gossip gets better - or worse, depending on your point of view:
Maybe that's the solution to the Yankees' problems - Madonna can simply tell him to remember how to hit in the ninth inning again!
An insider told Page Six, "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher."
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