Boston Red Sox Make the Worst "Music" Video Ever

Fans love songs and music videos attached to their teams, like the Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle." The New York Yankees were lucky enough to have superfan Jay-Z and Alicia Keys anthem "Empire State of Mind" do their 2009 World Championship year theme song. I'm half-convinced that the reason they didn't make it to the World Series in 2010 was because they didn't have a theme song for the year!

And the 1986 New York Mets had the cheesy but catchy "Let's Go Mets Go" theme song, a video that had the '86 Mets, Howard Stern, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Joe Piscopo, and Gary Carter in a white blazer. It's goofy, but still great fun. If you want to know what the mid-80s were like in New York, watch that video!

Well, the Boston Red Sox already have songs tied to the team -- "Dirty Water," "Sweet Caroline," "Tessie" and "Shipping Up to Boston," (speaking of which, I am positively irate that Yankee fan Bruce Springsteen performed Jonathan Papelbon's theme song with the Dropkick Murphys last week, but I digress!)

Anyhow, instead of doing the logical thing, which would involve throwing some cash at the Dropkick Murphys or something, which would at least be listenable, the powers that be at NESN came up with their own original song, called "This Is Boston." And it just might be the worst thing I've ever seen or heard. I heard Rebecca Black laughed at the video, it was so awful.

First off, if you're going to have somebody rap, why don't you find a real rapper, and not some goofy, untalented white dude who looks like he got lost on the way back from the Phish concert. To top it off, the guy has zero charisma. He makes Joe Piscopo's appearance in "Let's Go Mets Go" look like a star-making turn.

Second, the chorus is "We're All In." Too bad the Chicago White Sox already came up with the very same slogan "We're All In" slogan for their team four months ago. (Hat tip to Big League Stew.) As the Geico caveman would say, maybe next time do a little research.

Third, the Boston rapper, wears a backwards Sox cap for most of the video when he's not wearing a truly ugly wool cap that it looks like he stole from Heidi (and that's Heidi, the mountain girl, not Heidi Watney, who gets a ton of airtime in this video). And he spends more time rapping about curses, A-Rod and Varitek, Mariano Rivera "blowing saves left and right" (yikes), Johnny Damon, Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon again, curses, and Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod at the Super Bowl." He's mocking A-Rod having a beautiful movie star feed him? This guy would be lucky if he had Becky the waitress slipping him some extra french fries at the truck stop!

Fourth, Peter Gammons is a big part of the video. It's like seeing Michael Caine in "Jaws 4: The Revenge" or something. But at least Caine got a big payday for that. What's Gammo getting here, other than embarrassment? And my man Jerry Remy's also in the video, but it looks like they just spliced him in via out-of-context clips.

Fifth, there are plenty of Red Sox players who participated in the video, but they all look like they were forced to do it as part of a community service deal or something. There's no joy, or goofiness, or fun, like in the "Let's Go Mets Go" video. Even the kids featured in the video look miserable. Who wouldn't be?