John Sterling is closing in on his 5000th Yankee broadcast. Are you excited?

It's official. John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman will be back in the Yankees' broadcast booth this year and the next, something that was talked about a few weeks ago. WFAN recently announced the news with some hyperbolic comments that made my eyes roll so much, they're still at the back of my head! Let me go through what the statiion said, and give my own hyperbolic comments!

“Yankees baseball on the radio provides a soundtrack for the summer, and it would be unimaginable to listen to the Bronx Bombers without these two iconic broadcasters,” said CBS Radio New York senior VP and market manager Marc Rayfield. 

Unimaginable? Really? I can imagine it. I can imagine listening to broadcasters that -- shocker -- help me understand what's going on in the game, instead of devolving into schtick and cliches and incorrect calls. Because while the Yankees' TV broadcasters are no great shakes (and I've never been a fan of Paul O'Neill the broadcaster, as opposed to Paul O'Neill the player, even before he endorsed Donald Trump) at least I can, you know, follow the game from the visuals. When it's a radio broadcast, I'm at the mercy of John and Suzyn. And that's not a fun place to be!

Heaven forbid we have professional broadcasters like the Mets' Howie Rose and Josh Lewin (no relation to Squawker Jon!) who actually paint the picture of what's happening in the game. Not to mention the way every facet of the broadcast has a sponsor. I'm still waiting for "John takes a bathroom break, sponsored by Charmin" or "Suzyn's lipstick is brought to you by Revlon."

And 2016 is also an anniversary year of sorts. Rayfield sez:

“This is a special year, particularly as John closes in on his 5000th consecutive broadcast, an ironman feat almost as remarkable as Cal Ripken, Jr and Lou Gehrig’s legendary streaks.” 

Is there anyone who considers themselves the luckiest man on the face of the Earth for getting to listen to 5,000 broadcasts with John Sterling? Just wondering.

And Mark Chernoff, CBS Radio VP of sports programming and WFAN program director, makes his own hyperbolic comparisons:

“We’re thrilled Yankees fans will continue to hear this legendary broadcast team that has been together for more than a decade. John and Suzyn are as much a part of Yankee tradition as Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Derek Jeter and Yogi Berra.” 

Good lord. What a ridiculous comparison. Sterling and Waldman are more like the Cotton-Eyed Joe or YMCA of Yankee tradition: things that were entertaining once, but are well past their prime. Yet they keep on going and going and going, like the Energizer Bunny.

You know, I wonder if WFAN, which paid a gazillion dollars to get the rights to the Yankees' broadcast, and dumped the Mets, ever wonder if they made the right decision when it comes to teams. They sure didn't make the right decision when it comes to broadcasters.

Of all the dramatic things: John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman are staying in the Yankees radio broadcast booth

Ma and Pa Pinstripe

Oh my goodness gracious! The New York Daily News' Bob Raissman recently reported that John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman will be back in the Yankees' radio broadcast booth for their 12th and 13th seasons together. Raissman says that they have agreed in principle to new two-year deals with WFAN. "Sources said Yankees brass was committed to bringing Ma and Pa [Pinstripe] back," the radio/TV sportswriter reports.

Raissman also reported that while negotiations with Waldman went smoothly, things with Sterling were described as "somewhat acrimonious." Shocker!

You know, I've said it over and over again: Why does an organization that is allegedly committed to class and excellence keep John and Suzyn in the broadcast booth? Their crosstown rivals Howie Rose and Josh Lewin do a much better job with Mets radio coverage. What's more, you can actually understand what's happening in the game with them.

With John and Suzyn, the game sometimes seems incidental to the usual shenanigans and schtick. I can't tell you how many times I've been in the car listening to them, and trying to figure out what is going on with the game, because it's hard to tell from their broadcasts. I shouldn't have to have Squawker Jon use his smartphone to delineate what is going on!

Of all the great radio talent out there, and all of the connections to Yankeeland that talent has, you would think they could find somebody out there to do a better job than them. Sterling's home run calls still amuse me, but there is more to doing the broadcasts than such hokiness. And Suzyn isn't exactly the second coming of Vin Scully -- or even Bill White -- behind the mike. At least when Charlie Steiner was on the broadcasts, he did half of the play by play, making at least his part palatable. (And his Aaron Boone call in 2003 was awesome!)

Back in the day, when Phil Rizzuto was in his 70s, he did his birthday greetings and schtick, but he wasn't anchoring the broadcasts. He was seasoning for them -- not the full dish.

This is not scientific, of course, but most Yankee fans I know are ready for a change behind the radio mike. Not that Hal Steinbrenner would be aware of that. What an out-of-touch owner we have!

Not to mention all the incessant advertisements and sponsorships on the radio broadcasts, with everything from the broadcast booth to the fifteenth out having an ad connected. Between that, and all the commercials between innings, it's one big shillfest.

Look, I get that WFAN has to pay the bills somehow. And the rights for Yankee broadcasts cost them between $15 and $20 million each year on a 10-year deal. But geez, at some point, shouldn't the quality of the broadcasts count for something? Maybe if the Yankees had taken a little less money, WFAN wouldn't have had to monetize every last bit of the broadcast.

If the Yankees aren't going to put on a great product on the field for the next few years, they could at least upgrade the radio broadcast. Also, that is not going to happen. Bummer.

Shocker! One of the Squawkers correctly guesses a John Sterling home run call!

I didn't get to watch any of the Yankee games this weekend, but I do have some opinions on a few Yankee-related things. More on that in a sec.

Instead, I ran in two road races, went out to dinner with friends, checked out the Morrison Hotel art gallery, visited the new location of the Whitney Museum of American Art in the Meatpacking District, and walked the entire High Line, including the new section. For once in my life, I actually had a life this weekend!

By the way, the Whitney is a must-see. Not only is there some remarkable art worth checking out, but the views from the building's terraces are just breathtaking. It is absolutely stunning. I will be back here. Soon!

And the new High Line section, which goes up to 34th Street towards the Hudson River, is also amazing. I used to work in that neighborhood when I was at the Daily News, and it is rapidly changing. (It was pretty much a dump when I was there!) I will also be back there. Soon!

Oh, and I saw the Staten Island leash lady with my own eyes! I was walking on Midland Avenue when I saw a man walking his dog -- and his girlfriend. And yes, she was wearing a dog collar. This was at 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning! To which Squawker Jon asked 1) did I throw her a bone, and 2) if this were really the leash couple, or shameless copycats!

Anyhow, now that I have completed the "Lisa's weekend" portion of this Squawk, I can talk about two amazing things.

Jose Pirela hit his first career homer this weekend. Every time a new Yankee hits their first homer, Squawker Jon and I try to figure out what the call will be. Last night, I heard what Sterling's call was, so I made Jon guess. And after a few tries, he actually got it! It is: "Jose Pirela! The Most Happy Fella!" Jon figured given Jon's (and Suzyn)'s love of show tunes, it would be a natural! However, he is a little disgusted with himself that he could actually channel Sterling's mind here. Hang your head in shame, Jon!

Oh, and how about CC Sabathia showing such passion? Check out the clip below before somebody pulls it. You can hear a slew of curses unleashed, including the F-bomb! I was tremendously entertained by this.

How should John Sterling and Michael Kay mark A-Rod's 666th homer?

Some people use crowdsourcing for important things like updating Wikipedia, gathering genealogy research, and brainstorming big ideas. I am using it for something important in its own way, too -- trying to figure out how Michael Kay and John Sterling should announce Alex Rodriguez's 666th homer! He is only one away now, so they need to figure it out soon!

The great Yankee blog It Is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught recently got the ball rolling on marketing strategies, and suggested the following for Michael Kay's call: "PIT... FURNACE... HELL... SEE YA!" and for John Sterling's call: "It's an A-Bomb...from the Antichrist!" But I figured my Facebook friends could come up with some other great ones as well.

So here are some of the potential calls that Facebook friends came up with:

Brad sez: "Give the devil his due! A-Rod has reached six-six-six!"

Joe suggested: "Number 666. Mark it down! A beast of a home run!"

Rocco's idea was: "The devil made him do it!"

I suggested: "Lucifer launches one!"

John came up with: "He put the horns on the opposition!"

Edward sez: "The blast of the beast!"

But I think my friend Steve's is the winner: "It's an O-Men for A-Rod!"

My Facebook friends also talked about the music that should be played. Multiple people suggested  the Charlie Daniels song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." Other songs that were talked about as good music choices include the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil," Iron Maiden's "The Number of the Beast," and Santana's "Evil Ways."

And F.X. suggested not just a call, but a whole scenario for marking the moment: 

"It is high, it is far, it is gone! A-Rod hits an A-Bomb and the Apocalypse is upon us! The Anti-Christ is revealed! The 4 Horsemen stride into left field from the Yankee Bullpen and we see them unmasked at last, George Steinbrenner, Bowie Kuhn, Judge Landis and Charlie Comiskey! It's the End of Baseball! The End of America! The End of the World! Number 666!"

To which I say: after all of this, Brian Cashman tells the media: "Nope! Still not a milestone!"

Is John Sterling's home run call for Slade Heathcott his worst ever?

John Sterling coming up with
his home run calls?

One of the things about writing this blog is that I don't ever really know what will strike a chord (or a nerve!) with people, and what will be greeted with nothing but crickets. With a few exceptions, that is!

For some reason, anything I write on Michael Kay or John Sterling will generally get a huge number of page views. One of our top 10 all-time most read articles is this piece I wrote in 2012 about Sterling's lame Ichiro home run call. which was “Ichiro, the Yankees’ rising sun, says sayonara." Oy. And my piece on Michael Kay and Jodi Applegate's wedding, which was my second-most-read article ever, still gets page views each month!

Anyhow, I always say that I picture John Sterling sitting in a smoking jacket late at night, a la Cookie Monster on Monsterpiece Theatre, a glass of cognac on the side, pen and paper in hand, coming up with potential home run calls.

But I don't know what the heck he was thinking with his Slade Heathcott home run call. Apparently, Sterling either called it a "heath-shot by Heathcott" or a "heat-shot by Heathcott." Either one is lame.

C'mon, man! There are so many better possibilities! I used my Facebook page to crowd-source some better suggestions, some of which involve the name Slade, which is also the name of a heavy metal band:

He "Slade" that one; now run, run away!

Slade feels the noise!

A heat wave from Heathcott!

A death stroke by Slade!

A hot shot from Heathcott!

Heath "Cott" all of that one!

And I'm sure our readers will have suggestions of their own. Please use the comments section to give me your ideas!

Subway Series Game 3: The 659th Home Run Song (Feelin' Petty)

It's nights like this that I want to be like Eric Campbell when it comes to numbers. I want to forget how many errors the Mets made (four), how many runs Jon Niese gave up (six, four earned) and how many games the Mets lost to the Yankees (two).

However, Squawker Lisa, there is one number I am quite pleased to remember, and that is 659. I wanted A-Rod to get just shy of 660 while the Yankees were at home so media and fan attention would mushroom. After all, what else do Yankee fans have to focus on - whether Nathan Eovaldi can complete five innings with a lead?

I especially did not want to see A-Rod get to 660 on an ESPN broadcast, not just because it would have been against the Mets, but because I want to hear the Yankee broadcasters stumble through the call. Ideally, Yankee fans would demand a curtain call, leaving Michael Kay struggling to explain why the fans are cheering so much ("Kenny, I think they just announced that all concession stands will no longer have condiments!").

Best of all would be if John Sterling couldn't help spewing home run calls for A-Rod's milestone-that-must-not-be-named,  why Suzyn Waldman desperately tried to stop him:

John:It is high! It is far! It is gone! He did it! A-Rod is A-MAYS-ing!
Suzyn: You know, John, Stephen Drew is closing in on the 500-50 club - 500 RBI and 50 steals for his career.
John: Say Hey-Rod!
Suzyn: John, the Yankees sure have a lot of pitchers with two first names: Adam Warren, Justin Wilson, Chris Martin, even Esmil Rogers if you consider Rogers Hornsby.
John: A-Rod tuned his radio to 660!
Suzyn: Goodness gracious, John, give it a rest!
John: A-Rod's the Six Million Dollar Man!

Is John Sterling's Dean Anna home run call his worst ever?

I was traveling home from Manhattan last night during part of the Yankees-Red Sox game, so when Dean Anna hit his first home run as a Yankee (also his first MLB homer ever), I missed John Sterling's home run call. I half-expected Sterling to do a "Banana Fana Fo" call from the "Name Game" song. Instead, as I discovered from Facebook friends, Sterling's call was this: "Anna Is on the Dean's List!" Good grief.

I called Squawker Jon after I heard the news, and asked him to guess the call. Jon correctly did, without cheating, on his very first guess. We don't know whether to be impressed or horrified over him correctly getting into the mind of Sterling! (Jon did not guess the "Un Correazo" call for Beltran, though, so there is that.)

With all the new Yankees on the team this year, Sterling has much to come up with -- although all Kelly Johnson got was a perfunctory "Kelly killed it" call. As I have said before, I imagine Sterling sitting up in a smoking jacket late at night, looking like Cookie Monster in "Monsterpiece Theater," sipping a glass of cognac, pen and paper in hand while he comes up with his home run calls.

And it's fun to try to predict them, too. (Squawker Jon guesses that Ellsbury will get a "Ellzapoppin" call!)

But the "It Is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught" Sterliing "tribute" website, located at johnsterling.blogspot.com, is alarmed that Sterling had the Dean Anna call ready to go:

Well, it's finally happening. After more than twenty years of "BERN, BABY, BERN," and "GEORGIE JUICES ONE" - lines that once seemed to roll off John's tongue in the warm ecstasy of a Yankee home run - the Melkman has finally delivered a downside to the business. John is now spending hours in advance, attempting to compose poetry. You can say that's the mark of the true professional that he is. But as a poet, John Sterling is channeling Jewel. And I'm starting to wonder if it's going to bring him down.

For starters, John is no longer parceling out home run calls for the home run hitters, which he did at the beginning. (Anyone remember a call for Luis Sojo? Scott Brosius? Mariano Duncan?) The fact that last night Dean Anna - who might have gone this season without a home run - received a ready-made Sterling yelp could be a sign of the final bugaboo of John Sterling's long career: His ego may be spawning terminal self-awareness.

I actually like the idea that Sterling has these calls planned out ahead of time. I think it shows a master's dedication to his craft, even when they are thoroughly ridiculous. I was just hoping he would have used the "Name Game" song for Dean Anna. Banana fana fo indeed.

Jon is outraged, though, over the headline of this article. He says I am wrong to even suggest that the Anna call is the worst ever. "What about 'Something Sort of Grandish?'" he points out. He's got me there!

Where's Suzyn? The New York Times' Very Strange Profile on John Sterling

The New York Times has a 3000+ word profile this weekend on the Yankees' radio broadcaster John Sterling. I found the article, written by Bill Pennington, interesting, but I also found it a little infuriating and head-scratching as well.

First of all, Pennington doesn't seem to understand the Internet. He writes that Sterling "has spawned more than 100 Web sites dedicated to denigrating his emblematic calls and his anomalous broadcasting style." Nonsense. There may have been more than 100 sites that have criticized Sterling at times (including Subway Squawkers!) but writing that there are that many sites devoted just to mocking him is completely untrue -- and it's also a scurrilous accusation to make. It's the type of so-called "fact" that people will quote, because they read it in the Times, even though it's inaccurate.

The truth is that there is exactly one site -- It is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught -- that is solely dedicated to mocking Sterling, albeit in a good-natured way. And the article described Hart Seely, creator of the site, as calling himself "a Sterling fan." Seely says that "Sometimes, John is like a caricature of a baseball announcer who would be on a TV sitcom." However, he also says this:

"But for the serious Yankees fan, he has a lot of appeal. Some people, most of them not Yankees fans, think that because the Yankees are a flagship franchise, they should have a network-level announcer who is never a homer. But the truth is, when the Yankees do something wrong, John rips them, like any psychotic Yankees fan. At the same time, like a true Yankees fan, when they win, John cannot control himself. The joy bursts from his breast."

Look, I'm not saying that Sterling doesn't get criticism on the web -- of course he does -- but the idea that there are over 100 web sites owing their very existence to mocking his every move is overstating the case by about a hundred! I mean, really. Casey Anthony may be the most hated woman in America, but there aren't even 100 web sites devoted just to her!

Anyhow, the author of the Times piece also writes:

He is the regular whipping boy of two New York tabloid sports media columnists. Radio talk-show hosts play tapes of his radio calls almost daily, frequently mocking his shtick and picking apart his missteps, whether they are misidentified players or a hasty, over-amped home run call on what ultimately became a long flyout.

That is true, but sometimes some of the Sterling clips played, like the home run calls and his WinWarble at the end of the game, are done in a good-natured, funny way. And Evan Roberts of WFAN, to name one example, is as obsessed as I am with coming up with possible home run calls for new players for Sterling to use.

But this topic brings me to the most jarring thing about the article -- the almost complete absence of Sterling's companera, as he calls co-host Suzyn Waldman, from the article. The sole mention of her is this: "He has worked with Suzyn Waldman since 2005." What? No interview with her? No discussion of the complete lack of chemistry the two have (one of my own complaints about the broadcasts?) Writing about Sterling without talking about Waldman is writing about Laverne without mentioning Shirley!

Besides, as we talked about yesterday with the Squawkers' radio show host friend Larry Milian, Suzyn Waldman clips are staples of sports radio, too. Suzyn's "goodness gracious" Roger Clemens remarks, and her crying over what turned out to be Joe Torre's last game as also rebroadcast incessantly on sports radio shows around the country. (The other day, I just heard WEEI hosts play Suzyn's tears as if she were crying over Terry Francona's last game!)

The article also gets into complaints that Sterling is too much of a homer. But I want my broadcasters to be homers! Frank Messer wasn't a homer, and he was pretty dull to listen to. My issues with Sterling is more than it's sometimes hard to follow what's going on in the games, between the schtick and the incessant on-air shilling for advertisers.

The other thing about leaving Suzyn out of the story is that if you're going to talk, as the article does, about whether Sterling will be back, the future of Waldman should also be discussed. Will they both be gone, or one of them, or will they stay? It doesn't make much sense to speculate on his future without including her in the mix.


What do you think? Tell us about it!

Big Disappointment: John Sterling's Jesus Montero Home Run Calls

When Jesus Montero was called up to the majors, I asked my Facebook friends to predict what John Sterling's home run call would be. I got lots of responses, such as "Jesus Montero Superstar," "Jesus Juiced One," and even "Holy Moses, Jesus Crucified it." And people were very interested in the subject.

So when Montero hit his first home run, I expected something maybe show-tunes related from Sterling. Something memorable. Instead, we got "Jesus is loose." What? He had all weekend to come up with something catchy, and we got a cheesy knockoff from "The Goose Is Loose"? Puh-lease.

And when Montero hit his second home run of the day, Sterling expanded on his call, saying "Jesus has been turned loose." Really? What is this, some Unleash the Kraken reference or something? Hate it. Back to the drawing board, John!

* * *

Something else I wasn't crazy about were Brian Cashman's comments the other day on Montero. He told ESPN's Ian O'Connor that "In terms of hitting ability, Montero can be a Manny Ramirez or a Miguel Cabrera." He also said, "As a catcher, he's got a cannon for an arm. As far as everything and what I want him to be, I want him to be Jorge Posada. He has a chance to bat third or fourth. He has the potential to be a beast in the middle of our lineup."

What, why not throw in Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, and Yogi Berra to make the comparisons even more hard to live up to? Good grief.

I fail to see how hyping up a rookie so much is a good thing.

How about being happy for now if Montero can be better than Francisco Cervelli? Isn't that enough at the moment?

And when I told Squawker Jon what Cashman said, he snapped back, "Then why did Cashman try to trade Montero for two months of Cliff Lee?" Good point!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Why Didn't John Sterling Have a Home Run Call Ready for Francisco Cervelli?

The most shocking thing about Sunday's Yankee win wasn't Derek Jeter hitting two home runs, or even Francsico Cervelli hitting a grand slam. It was the fact that John Sterling did not have a personalized home run call for Cervelli ready to go.

Granted, Cervelli only had one home run in his career prior to Sunday. But geez, Sterling had "Russell has muscle" prepared for Russell Martin in only his second game as a Yankee. And Andruw Jones got the "Andruw Jones makes his bones" treatment for the homer he hit in his very first at-bat in pinstripes. Cervelli has been on the team since 2008. Is it too much to expect Sterling to have *something* in the can for him? I think not, especially when there are more than a few options.

Squawker Jon and I were tossing around some ideas for what Sterling could have done. Here are some possible calls. If John Sterling happens to hear about this, he is free to use any of these ideas:

* Frankie 'Velli and the four-bagger!
* It's a San Francisco Treat!
* Francisco Cervelli turns pitchers to jelly!
* Cervelli hits that ball to New Delhi!
* Turn on your telly and watch Cervelli!
* It's the Frisco Kid!
* What's the buzzelli? It's Francisco Cervelli!
* Frankie Goes to Hollywood!
* Francisco hits the disco!
* What the helli? There goes Cervelli!

Or maybe you have some better ideas for home run calls for Cervelli? What do you think?

John Sterling's Russell Martin Call -- In French! -- Is Highlight of Weekend

Saturday was a good game for the Yankees against the Red Sox, but I hated seeing the old Josh Beckett Sunday, who looked like the Beckett of the 2003 World Series, not the Beckett who the Yanks have killed in recent years. Anyhow, instead of dwell on how puny the Yanks looked last night, I'd like to note that Russell Martin had two homers in one game Saturday, and that John Sterling added a call -- in French! -- to his repertoire:



Now, even though I took French in high school and college, I'm not quite sure what Sterling is saying! But I give him an A for effort here, to try to appeal to Martin's heritage (his mother is French Canadian, and he was born and raised in Ontario.)

I'm really digging Martin so far -- he has replaced Jorge Posada, a Yankee icon, at catcher pretty effortlessly.

* * *

Speaking of broadcasters, what did you think of the new Sunday night crew? I wasn't impressed with Bobby Valentine saying about how nobody predicted that the Jets would beat the Patriots last year. Um, I did!

What do you think? Tell us about it?

Thoughts on John Sterling's "Russell Has Muscle" Home Run Call for Russell Martin

Before it's too late, I want to talk about John Sterling's home run call yesterday for Russell Martin. I missed hearing it live, but ESPN's Andrew Marchand reports that it was "Russell has muscle." Not bad -- it has the requisite Sterling cheesiness/charm, without being too out there (I half-expected a Dean Martin reference or something!). Right now, I would rank "Russell has muscle" with "Robbie Cano, don'tcha know!"

Anyhow, I am kicking myself a little. If I had known the new Yankee starting catcher was going to hit a homer in only the second game of the year, I would have started asking Subway Squawkers readers earlier on what they thought Sterling would use for his home run calls. Come to think of it, we'd better start coming up with thoughts and ideas for Eric Chavez, Andruw Jones, and Gustavo Molina!

When I heard about "Russell has muscle," I asked Squawker Jon to guess what Sterling's home run call was. His first guess? Russell Crows! (Get it?) When Jon couldn't figure it out (I think he was relieved that he found himself unable to think like Sterling), I started giving him hints. I went so far as to spot him the first two letters of the last word ("Russell has mu....") and he still couldn't get it, taking stabs such as:

* Russell has mustard
* Russell has mummies
* Russell has mumps
* Russell has Mummenschanz

Anyhow, Jon finally did get it right. But "Russell has Mummenschanz" does have a catchy ring, doesn't it?

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Twin killing: Yankees go up 2-0 against Minnesota

I'm very happy the Yankees have won the first two games of the ALDS, and I'm particularly happy that Curtis Granderson and Lance Berkman were the big hitting heroes last night. (Not to mention that Andy Pettitte stepped up bigtime!) I heard that John Sterling said "Sir Lancelot Does It Again" about Berkman's homer!

But I did feel a little sorry for the Minnesota Twins yesterday, especially after hearing about all the steps they took to exorcise the demons after Game 1: Ron Gardenhire burned his uniform, Orlando Hudson's family did a prayer group, the players didn't eat that their usual waffle house, team leader (yes!) Carl Pavano suggested that they switch up the uniforms, etc., etc.

And while their fans did those idiotic "Yankees suck" chants, at least they are loyal, knowledgeable fans who show up to support their team, unlike what Tampa Bay has.

Yet the results were the same for the Twins, despite them yet again taking the lead first. Hopefully, the Yankees will put the nail in the Twins' coffin tomorrow (after 2004, I never stop worrying until the series is over, even if it's against Minnesota!) Never say never. Who would have thought that the Texas Rangers, who had won exactly one playoff game in three tries, would be up 2-0 against the Rays? Even DJ Kitty couldn't get the job done for Tampa so far!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

John Sterling goes too far with Marcus Thames call

I was busy for most of Labor Day weekend, so I didn't get to see much of what was happening in Yankeeland (although Squawker Jon and I did watch a bunch of the Dallas Braden game when we were eating clam strips at Martell's Tiki Bar!)

But I did hear John Sterling make a horrifying call -- maybe his worst yet -- about Marcus Thames. Sterling exhorted, "Happy Thames are here again" over a Thames hit. Um, no. It's "Happy DAYS Are Here Again." So the play on words here -- using Thames as the word Times -- makes no sense. If Sterling wants to say something about "Good Thames" or something, that would be one thing. But you can't just willy-nilly throw in Thames' name in the "Happy Thames" scenario. It just sounds terrible!

Speaking of terrible, it figures that when I sit down to watch a full game last night, like I did to watch CC Sabathia go for No. 20 against the Baltimore Orioles, that CC would lose his first game at Yankee Stadium in over a year. Bummer.

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Eat, pray, squawk -- a weekend (mostly) away from baseball

I missed most of the action in Yankeeland this weekend, as I was on the "Eat, Pray, Squawk" tour to coincide with the "Eat, Pray, Love" movie opening!

Squawker Jon and I went down the shore Saturday to attend my high school reunion. Since I went to a Catholic school, that classifies as the "pray" part, I guess. We also had clam strips at Martell's Tiki Bar in Point Pleasant afterwards, which fits in as the "eat" part. And the "squawk" part was in the car with Jon, when it took over 2 1/2 hours of traffic-filled driving to make it to the shore in the first place!

Anyhow, on the way back from the Jersey Shore Saturday night, Jon and I flipped the radio back and forth between the Yankees and Mets games. I didn't get to hear A-Rod's first two homers live, but I did see the third one of the game on TV when I got home. That last homer was the one I would have loved to have heard John Sterling's home run call. He must have gone insane over it!

I did hear Sterling's two Granderson calls, though, and nearly drove off the road laughing at the silliness of them. Yes, Grandy gets both the "Something Sort of Grandish" and "The Grandy Man Can" calls. How is it that him and Mark Teixeira have two home run calls each, and Derek Jeter and A-Rod only have one?

I had committee meetings I had to attend on Friday and Sunday, so I missed most of both games. Then again, I didn't miss much! Losing two out of four to Kansas City is nothing to write home about, that's for sure!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Austin Kearns' homer gets special John Sterling call, but what about Mark Teixeira's baby?

Missed opportunity -- I should have written something earlier trying to predict John Sterling's home run calls for new Yankees Austin Kearns and Lance Berkman. At any rate, Kearns hit his first Yankee homer last night, and I heard Sterling exclaimed, "Austin Powers," over it. Good one! I was wondering if there would be an Austin, Texas related call -- like "Keep Austin Weird" or something like that --t, but "Austin Powers" is pretty good.

Anyhow, I'm guessing that Berkman, aka Fat Elvis, will get some Presley-related call from Sterling whenever he hits a homer. Squawker readers, what do you think the call will be?

So  Mark Teixeira was back with the team Thursday, after missing two games on baby leave. I half-expected Sterling to have some baby-related call to announce the arrival of William Charles Teixeira. Wouldn't that have been cool?

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Why are Yankee fans cheering when Hideki Matsui hits a home run against their team?

Not exactly the greatest of games last night - the Yankees looked really flat, and Phil Hughes didn't have it. But the thing that ticked me off the most about the loss was hearing Yankee fans cheer the opposition. When Hideki Matsui hit a homer off Chan Ho Park to put the game out of reach for the Bombers, all too many Yankee fans got excited over it. The worst was that female "fan" clad in Yankee gear holding up a sign for Matsui and cheering and bopping around like the Yankees won the World Series or something. Good grief.

This isn't the first time this has happened this year - Yankee fans did the same thing in an April Angels-Yankees game, when Matsui hit a homer to put Anaheim ahead. I don't get that at all. It's one thing to give an ex-Yankee like Matsui a round of cheers the first time his name is called out in the lineup. After all, even though Matsui and the Angels were in the Bronx in April, that doesn't mean everybody in the ballpark was there any of those games.

But it's an entirely different deal to cheer him every time, and to applaud him when he gets a homer, or even a hit, against your team. Matsui isn't a Yankee any more. I have no reason to cheer his home runs now, especially when they're against the Yanks.


Enough with the Matsui worship already. It's like when Billy Crystal wore a Switzerland hat when the Yankees played the Dodgers, because of Joe Torre. Please. To me, it's not a hard decision to root for the Yankees over former Yankees. My team comes first. Johnny Damon was one of my favorite Yankees ever, but if he hits a homer against the Bombers when he returns to the Bronx this summer, I will hold my applause.

Look, I'm not saying to boo Matsui. I'm just saying that the silly applause and cheers for his hitting feats against the Yankees need to end. It's annoying.

One other thing - didn't hear the game on the radio, so I don't know if John Sterling did the Thrilla by Godzilla call, the way he did this April. Does anybody know?

What do you think? Tell us about it!

What do you think of John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman?

I was running around a lot this weekend, so I listened to much of those Yankee games in the car. What continues to strike me, beside the goofiness of John Sterling's home run calls (although I did like "Gardy goes yardy!") is how little chemistry John and Suzyn have right now. They might have been a good team at one point, but it's like they're in two different broadcast booths.

For example, more than once, Suzyn will share some tidbit about a player being discussed, only to have John say the same exact thing, as if he didn't hear what she just said. And no, he's not doing that "echoing" thing to show he's listening. It's quite the opposite!

Also, Joe Torre has been gone for 2 1/2 years now. Joe Girardi is the Yankee manager. But how many times does Suzyn say Torre's name instead of Girardi? It's very distracting.

On the positive, I do appreciate Sterling's enthusiasm - I met him at the World Series movie premiere this fall, and he was very nice to me and to other fans. He's not pretending to be excited over what happens in the games; he really is as thrilled as we are. I appreciate that he's not too cool for school, the way other broadcasters of the world can be. (Speaking of which, Joe Buck did a great call for the 1996 Yankees World Series title, but last year's "The Yankees are back on top" was just terrible. I've heard more excitement from DMV clerks!)

However, I can do without what my friend Johnny calls CBS - Chris Berman Syndrome, where Sterling "thinks people tune in for him and not the game." And all too frequently, it's hard to follow what's even going on in the game by listening to the radio broadcasts. Sometimes, John and Suzyn seem to forget that the fans listening can't see the action described - all we have to go on is what they say!

For whatever reason, it seems like complaints about the Yankee radio broadcasts are at an all-time high this year. So I would like to get readers' opinions on John and Suzyn for a longer piece for The Faster Times. Please tell me what you think, whether positive or negative. Thanks!

Gardy goes yardy: The worst (or best) John Sterling call ever?

John Sterling's call for Brett Gardner's home run last night is either genius - or dreck - depending on your point of view. "Gardy goes yardy!" Sterling shouted after the homer. Our friends at "It Is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught" captured the stylings of Sterling.


Squawker Jon thought it was one of Sterling's worst. I think it's so ridiculous, it's funny. What do you think?

Listen: John Sterling's lame home run call for Randy Winn

Randy Winn's three-run homer into the Yankees bullpen was the highlight of last night's game. But John Sterling's home run call for him was pretty corny, even by the standards of the creator of the "Something Sort of Grandish" call.

Here it is:

"A three-run home run for Randy!" Sterling exclaimed. "He helps the Yankees...Winn!

You can listen to it online, courtesy of the good folks at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught.

Huh? What a lame call!

Winn's been on the team all year, and that's the best Sterling could come up? A self-referential home run call, playing on Sterling's "The Yankees win" game-ending pronouncement? I expect better from the Voice of the New York Yankees. This call is just plain boring. Besides, what if Winn hits a home run and the Yankees are still losing in the game? Will he still be helping the Yankees "Winn"?

I mean, really. Look at how happy Winn's teammates are with his homer. Don't think they'd be so happy if they had heard this uninspired call!

Just in case Winn - who seems like a very nice guy, as evidenced by his postgame interview with Kim Jones - hits another homer this year, I hope Sterling has something better in the works. Even Yankee Doodle Randy or The Randy Man Can would have been better than what he came up with!

What do you think? Do you have a better home run call? Tell us about it!