A few new rules for Joba Chamberlain

So I watched the Joba Chamberlain DUI video. Very depressing to see.

But as the teachers used to tell us in grade school, let's hope he's learned a valuable lesson from all of this. Make that valuable lessons.

The biggest one, of course, is not to drink and drive. But let's hope he's learned the following as well:

* If you ever get pulled over again, don't pull the "don't you know who I am" card, don't name-drop who you are, and don't mention the Yankees. NFL player Ryan Moats's mother-in-law was literally dying in the hospital while some dopey cop kept him waiting for 13 minutes. Yet at no time did Moats pull the athlete card. Let that be an example to you.

* Don't dis New Yorkers - they're paying your salary. You may be right about Nebraskans being more likely to let you in through traffic, but it still doesn't sound very good to suggest that New Yorkers would hit you.

* That DUI video you were talking about was a Comedy Central spoof, not the real deal. Even though it would have been funny if it were true.

* Yogi Berra is short, but he really is taller than a police car. Honest. And by the way, it's not a good idea to make jokes about one of the most beloved living Yankees. So if you're thinking of making a Don Mattingly joke, skip it. Just saying.

* Don't wear a shirt with a design that looks like prison stripes. It makes for really bad imagery.

What do you think about Joba Chamberlain? Leave us a comment!