Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The lost Taco Bell ad with Jerry Manuel and Francisco Rodriguez

Inside a Taco Bell, JERRY MANUEL walks up to a CUSTOMER staring at his chalupa.

You're done, kid. You're slower than John Maine.

Manuel touches his left arm. The customer gets up and Manuel slaps him on the butt.

PEDRO FELICIANO walks over. He has put on a lot of weight.

Skip, I don't feel too good.

This is what happens when you make him help finish a chalupa every day.

Fine, I'll just go to my closer.

Manuel slaps Feliciano on the butt. He touches his right arm.

As FRANCISCO RODRIGUEZ walks toward the chalupa, he passes the exiting customer.

Let's see if you can have a good outing for a change.

Excuse me?

You heard me.

The customer and Rodriguez start shoving each other. Rodriguez slips and falls, slamming his jaw on the corner of a table.


Rodriguez sits glumly. His jaw is wired shut.

Trainer RAY RAMIREZ turns to Manuel.

I’m afraid he won’t be finishing any chalupas the rest of the season.

Manuel throws his hands in the air. OLIVER PEREZ approaches the chalupa.

Manuel slaps Ramirez on the butt.

Aren’t you supposed to slap Frankie?

You think I'm laying a hand on him?

Perez picks up the chalupa, cardboard packaging and all, and starts to put the whole thing in his mouth.

You're not supposed to eat the cardboard.

Perez takes the chalupa out of the box. But as he brings it to his face, he misses his mouth and the chalupa flies out of his hands and up in the air.

LUIS CASTILLO settles under the flying chalupa. It lands in his hands, then bounces out and hits the floor, splattering everyone with ground beef, nacho cheese, bits of taco shell and toppings.

At a nearby table, JEFF WILPON turns to SANDY ALDERSON.

All right, Sandy - think you can clean up this mess?

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